its SUNDAY

(specially dedicated to twin.)

hit song: Rachael Lampa - Always Be My Home.
(btw its the background song for 50th anniversary video!)

Your heart will always be my home,
No matter where I go,
No matter what may come.

You'll be my shelter in the storm,
a harbor safe and sound,
where only true forgiveness can be found.
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS
And I can't live without Your love.
Cause Your eyes have seen beyond,
the things I'm guilty of.
I won't be afraid to turn back down the road.
Cause Your heart will always be my home.

And when, I've cried a thousand tears,
You've always wiped them dry.
And watched me as I spread my wings and fly
to a place, where holiness begins,
and mercy never ends.
And I will find my freedom once again,
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS

Your hands are always open,
to catch me when I fall,
I feel a million miles away,
but that's no distance, at all...

But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS

Cause Your heart will always be my home.

the count

just when you think you're darn good. GOD tells you you're not, so walking humbly and continue working hard. A handy reminder for me chong han jung, and maybe YOU too.

i recently have been realizing how forgetful i am, as if i wasn't. perhaps i should start the daily counts for what i forget and capitalise on the statistics and analysis knowledge i have been learning. owh and did i not mention, occasional waking up lates esp on crucial days are identical killers. shouldv been adamant bout taking up psychology previously and psycho myself... yeah it doesn't make sense.. my point is, it does look mild now, but theres somehow a way to overcome these, right? psychos, come calling.


(A+) + (B-) = D
):

why not A+ or A?

Gabrielle | Sunshine

Rekindled love for this song.


Made a wish
I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid
To live life
And fulfill my fantasies
I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came you were like

Chorus:
Sunshine through my window
Thats what you are, my shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for new heights
You inspired me to try
Felt the magic inside
And felt that I could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
Cause when you came you were like

(chorus)

You are the calm, when I am the storm
You are the breeze, that carries me on
When I set adrift, you anchor me
You're there for me

(chorus x5)


(:

turnaround

you bet the night was good, tho.

anyway, this morning was a pleasant one too. investment mid term paper back, and i was probably 3/4 conscious coz i was real tired from lack of sleep, so i just searched my paper and got it and i was like, "owh okay, 78..". lagging a lil, my mind soon came to senses and i was going "wow not too bad..". Plus and additional 7 marks, which makes it 85/100! hoho. yeah, dont mind that 15 marks.

like it always does

if you count unexpected one or two hours of sleep a real sleep, then i did that. the body was battered after i finally completed my assignment (which i dont even remember what time i did...maybe lauren could tell me), it automatically carried me into my room and switched off! yeah, the memory of having an exam in a few hours' time was apparently vanished alongside. when i actually got up, my life was temporarily turned frenzy. it was a literal fracas and havoc all over my skin and for once in some time, i felt heavy carrying my 60kg, and was pretty much anxious about not making it.

somewhat only God can tell. i arrived late enough yet good enough to be allowed in the exam hall. and completed the exam paper as if i was given an extra hour. it was a paper people could finish in 20 mins and without having too much problems answering it.

just got a real power nap, tho i doubt its enough.. it never is. assignments, 3 more. did you even realize most times i post something, assignment dues will always be there? yeah, its that unbelievable over here. and what more, the student loan thingo wont be coming in for another month. now im wondering whether its a good thing or otherwise. good, because inevitably i'd be spending money yet the loan untouched..so i have more money! otherwise, because i'd have to find my way to get that money for one month of survival. starting with tonight, i'd be going out, and with 10 bucks in my wallet. where begging comes in :/

theres nothing good about today really. nasty, in fact.
sigh.

food your stomach

monday's kinda officially my free weekday already. morning class is presentation, as if i'm gonna sacrifice my sleep for amusing skits; afternoon is a crap computer class where our aunty lecturer talks almost her own alien language, probably teaching herself i reckon.

so iv been waiting waiting, for my late waking up, 930 and an 'eventful' half hour in bed (who else would know this?) before getting up. did some onlining and work till afternoon. owh, my brilliant sem continues with 2 mid terms and 1 assignment submission deadline for week10 this week! then my empty house convinced me i should get my butt moving and grab some food. that was me caleb and jon wee. then we were off to mont kiara's haagen dazs + rich ivy jonlee.

owhh having rm40 for mass haagen dazs sounds good, but stuffing 14 scoops of haagen and a kfc snackplate before that upsets no one but your stomach (: rich was the biggest consumer at 22 scoops (yeah right 30). ooh, as if not enough, i was called for yumcha with kelvinhun nimalan chinloong thereafter (all back from some places in the world)..dilemma of course considering the amount of food hanging about in my stomach and lack of sleep has been taking its toll on me (right...more like laziness), but i decided i should just go meet em after some long months. wasn't too bad a decision for once, had some good time talking pure rubbish (and a lil serious ones meh) like how secondary school times always were :p and owh, thursday be my second mid term paper for the week..and they so-called it drink to celebrate. :/ owh yeah, the fun and fun continues...

owh, after haagen it was supposed to be yumcha with the adults, but just coz gabs couldn't make it i decided it be with my secondary school friends eventually. both be good so i dont regret either one. makan makan and talk talk with gabs...cant waittt. we'd start with vball tmr.

i just realized iv been using alot of owhhs :/

owh, todays been a real crazy talkative nonsensical me. a rare sight.
(just take into account the last time i actually posted something long and sensible here)

make me smile (:

literal

3 weeks without a post is pure insanity!
can't believe it if i actually still find people coming over (minus that twin)
so, im stopping the rot, barely... because its,

THE END!
:)

and the not so pleasant

It starts with a sprained wrist from sports,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the boredom,
then the reply and further textings,
then the malfunctioned phone,
then the malfunctioned phone, again,
then the malfunctioned phone, AGAIN,
then the okay-ed phone,
then the call,
then the notinbed tone/voice,
then the annoying background noises,
then the not-so-clear and talk louder,
then the dead phone,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the reached home after 3 waiting hours.

depression.
):
(:

the almost brand new

AAAHHHHH.........

I had this wild idea to take over my aunty's car; buy, that is.
And i tell you, it was helluva brilliant thought,
an outstanding opportunity.
You see, she's been consistently changing her cars every 3 years.
So her Vios is almost 3 already and i almost successfully coaxed her
into selling it to me, until...
she decided a Vios should last a 5!

nice try.
):

exquisite?

damn, does it always have to feature alongside?

clogging

wow. i should just die off better before i go insane.

this could explain: Week7 - 3 mid term tests today, wednesday and thurs; 2 assignment submissions; 2 quizzes! i'll give whichever lecturer a good sounding if he/she dares nag me for not doing my tuts (;

owh, and that white 80+ professor lecturer pretty much love talking to me (or perhaps whichever hyper dude). darn, we met at the guy's loo today :S and he with his cowboy mustache and cunning smile was going "surprise, surprise". gah i better speak especially louder and clearer before he goes "huh?" :p

owh, at least at least...the streamyx connection just recovered from its 3-4 week-old coma! absolute thrillllllllllllll!

come find me at the end of the week to check whether im still alive :/ *drops dead*

today's special

13th JULY!

need i say more. :)

we fall down, we lay our crowns

Firstly, i present to you...

THE WORLD'S OLDEST BIBLE RE-UNITED AND DIGITISED!

As the news said, this early work, aka Codex Sinaiticus comprises over 400 large leaves of prepared animal skin. It tells on the development of early Christianity and firsthand experience of how the text of the Bible was transmitted from generation to generation! And now, the evidence is ever so strong!
Praise be to GOD!

*

You cruise along the highway heading to uni and there comes some dude emerging in your back mirror, roaring his way on his imaginary circuit with his fantasy race car, attempting to squeeze past mobs of cars hanging around in a reasonably slow pace, provoking slow coaches by inching just some inches away from their behinds. Unfortunately and ridiculously though, at the end of the day he probably managed a car or two in front of me; and i reckon, already spent a buck more for petrol. What an amusing day to begin with :D

Motorcycles too, i think are real nuisance and of vulnerability on the road. If i, in my dreams tonight become the Government, i'd implement a privileged lane for them, and for their lives.

*

It could be work, it could be activities, it could be thoughts, it could be happenings, it could well too be simply random-os. You hang on to your own to start with, then use some logic and brilliant conscience to decide what or how.
actually i'm not even sure what i'm talking about

cramping inside out

okay i'm gonna keep it all concrete and direct, satisfied? :)

nope, i haven't been sleeping enough these days, and the msn pm tells of exhaustion, missing the bed, and pillow back home and the badly desire for some good hours of sleep to save myself from whatever unforeseen circumstances.

i'm in my favourite meeting room in uni - equipped with solid wireless connection, cool air-conditioned breeze, comfy little couch (big enough for me and you), the all-important silence and minimal presence of living creatures, and the ever-so-efficient intranet CyberTracker where i dl almost anything at jaw-dropping dl pace (yes, 8gb in 4 hrs). the next class being at 2pm, and i'm left contemplating on lying dead on the couch or doing some work which i haven't been keeping up with due to the cramping of activities. in fact, that already foretells how my sleeping time would further be limited. the assignments have re-emerged as if i'm so surprised, which means meetings and staying-backs and reaching home finding yourself half dead and not wishing to do anything else but collapse to the dreams.

owh on a happier note, birthday and its surrounding days been pretty much happy-fying. just a sincere thank you to everyone present in my life, in my heart. okay, i'm avoiding more details here, like usual, its been good. and owh, speaking of birthday, i've proabably spent time with everyone but the soul who shares the same birthday and birthhour with me. thank you very much, but i still don't see you and don't see our so to say "birthday dinner" happening, DEAR TWIN.

the brain's been functioning competent enough for me to have thoughts this long. my last thought now being braces! yeah, my fluctuant mind came home telling me i should be getting one, anyway! that lil quest of mine was not entirely buried after all. yeah, not guaranteed yet though, but anyhow that means more pain, less food, less smiles, less money, but a rewarding outcome, i hope :) consult me on this one.

i think i'm off to...s.l.e.e.p (:

*

alright for the fun of everyone. i took a pic! :/

++
OWH did i mention to you too. Did rock-concert jumping for 4 hours last Sat for a Digi commercial (courtesy of Lala) at Bukit Jalil stadium which i tell you was outright exhaustion, and a hard-earned RM100. So do spot the gorgeous green-shirted guy on your tv screen k? :p

personification

just a short one.

dealing with stocks is a pretty fun thingo.
and, the frown of a price slump.
also, the glee of a price swell.
finance students owh yea.
interesting much!


i'm getting way too old ):

extension and delay

owh i came up with two things just before i decided to give up on stats (i mean its freaking 2am!)
(1) that stuck-up connection applies not just to Twitter but generally! d*mn that thing

(2) iv got a dream: to have a personal assistant (must be a girl!) who'd follow me wherever i go and can listen/answer me just anything. my first q to her be "how in the big wide world do you do this stats q im stuck at?"

i'm saying funny things like this
just because i feel random
just because, i feel tired.

GOOD NIGHTT

flash and beckon

its 1.30 in the wee. the connection is terribly sluggish - or maybe its just the twitter (wow cant we get enough of all these things?) which im attempting to look about, my stats tutorial exercises and notes are scrambling all over my place as i simultaneously try to figure out its sums while i also inevitably (nah its not exam) linger around here and there just for some light entertainment to balance things up, feeling strained as body probably nudged me the 100th time pleading for enough sleep for another uni day, and time has been predictably insufficient. geniuses out there, enlighten me on how on earth do i handle attending lectures and tutorials, completing weekly tut work, doing notes for chapters covered for each lecture, fitting in assignment groups and getting yourself ready and relishing the prospect of at least 2 assignments per subject (i have 7) for the sem, and putting yourself together and bracing yourself for quizzes, midterm tests and final exams.

well i have one answer: lock yourself in the room everyday after uni and finish up all there is.

and i'm apparently not in unison with that. nuf said :)
FUN HERE I COME! jk :p

-owhhh its 2 and i got perhaps 5 hours to tidurrrr!

tragedy

tragedy says i comfortably got my sem started with all that organized notes and print-out lecture slides, fully armed for a pledged "serious studying sem". but the d*mn thing was, on friday while walking to my class, i saw my friend and we started talking and then we both entered the same class (not the class i was destined to go)! yes, tricky as it is (i was having a tough time trying to explain this), my friend's class and my class are just side by side. these 2 lectures (different subjects) happen both on Friday. So my supposed class (A) and my friend's class (B) starts simultaneously at 10am. Then at 2pm i go to class B instead, and my friend to A. but i followed my friend! that was the ploy. we were supposed to make groups during the 2pm lecture and confirm it by end of class, so i was kinda forced to change my sessions to that of my friend's one.

confused already? i'd not be surprised :)

at 1.30 am on a Saturday morning, tho. i decided i'd change the lecture to the one i attended. in order to do that, iv to drop my current ones first, then add back the new ones. mind you one of those 2 subjects have reached maximum capacity already. the ironic thing was, some dude was waiting at 'course registration' page at 1.30 am on a grand Saturday morning, supposedly waiting in vain for some weirdo to drop that subject (at that funny time) so that he could add and be in it. hey! look who had the last laugh! the jaws (of mine apparently) dropped off for some minutes trying to believe the "full" word right smacked at the lecture sessions list. now i got 6 subjects from my original 7. and i feel really helpless and troubled by it. i dont want to be taking an extra subjects during my later sems or my final year. adding unnecessarily to the weight :/ and in week2 (next week) i'd be charged i think 25% (RM200+?) of the course i drop so i'd hope to avoid that either. praying for the 'best solution' be the key words.

haha, forget bout this post if question marks are filling up your brain space.

that's all :)

absolute contrary

the sem starts, and i was ever motivated to study right from day 1. its not the first time i said this, but i did really have a great feeling about it. the potentially immense improvement (albeit the usual last-minute studyings) from last semester in which im pretty convinced iv smashed the 3.6 target, and especially having you around possibly worked everything out. but nothing comes as easy as it is. there'd be some kinda roadblock somewhere around the corner just as you anticipate a bright new start to a brand new day. astonishing as it always is, but i'm gonna keep to whatever i pledged and nothing gonna stop me from being what i proposed to be. and that requires your help, and everyone's, and prayers of course. trusting God would come easier when you let yourself be. and im attempting just that.

and too, despite previously having all the crazy lil options in my head for a helluva 21st, i suddenly now feel like wishing only for a quiet undisturbed one, just a day where i'd sit down, perform my usual life routines, ring myself bout how old i am now, and perhaps think bout how my 21 years of breathing have been; and you know, wish myself happy birthday before the last minute of 1st July concludes.


life is just like that, remarkable.
sometimes, too, remarkable.

numb

too lazy to explain my whole one week, again. heh.
so just imagine how fun the penang trip and family camp were.
nuf said (;

ooh btw uni has commenced this week. mixed feelings.

he's leaving tomorrow.

Update: Hanj is going off to Penang tomorrow!
(since he's refusing to post anything when he's "not in the mood", hehehe)

Everyone give him a goodbye hug.
A week okay, not funny. :(

But the girl also has mid year exams so it'll be a erm, good time.

So finish packing your bags and don't come back 5kgs heavier from the Penang food :D
Ki-dding.

Raahhh. <3

black / white

oooh hahaha btw this is seriously what i brand classic :) :)

me and lareina's fb wall convo:

"lalalalalaaa happy birthday! youre one year younger! :)"
"Thanks jung, wateva school u went to, i like the way they taught u to count :P"

you funnnyyy! (: cheers me up amid boring marketing revision
(final Final paper tmr!)

once again..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LALALA (:

one of the many.

She can't text/call anyone until Sunday arrives.

But just to let you know, she is thinking of you and wishes you ALL THE BEST in the exams today.

here's the ___ face and ___ hug.

(: (:

absolute

7.0 / 7.2 now, happyy? :) :)
share hot coffee, and 8am ya
and no, not lousy at all kaay

highlights today: 9-430pm dating, he's one month+ older than _,
_ face, etc (too _ to publish :p)

theyr all fragmentary, but only you can comprehend what they mean, all of em (:

indifferent

like stop telling me bout food? cannot tahan really.
you don't need too much bout anything to enjoy something.

i'm getting so tired and numb i feel like leaving my mind blank, sleep.
and screw up that remaining 2 final papers of mine.

i say the same thing over and over again each time.
but i hope this time its for really real. good for me, you, everyone!

now i got a 50-50 langkawi. eugene just told me $400 is impossible!
like i said friend's got some ultra knockdown hotel price, unless a LIE
got another brilliant proposal: PENANG AAAHH! so gonna see missa
never gonna miss the opportunity. and of course, the food! (yes i know it contradicts with paragraph 1)
but to start with, i need THIS: $$$$$$$$$$
i need a new shoe, too. old one's got a hole which connects my socks with the floor!
and do this and that and those....
all during hols. and yet, where is my $$$$$$$$$$$???

like i said, i'm giving myself a 4.5 today. and you just fell asleeep!
may24 >> 4.5 / 7
tak layan ):

he has a flair.

What hanj has been up to for the past 24 hours.
(wouldn't we all like to know, hehe)

It's all about the smile when he has his inspiration, the intense mode he gets into in the middle of it (until don't layan me anymore, hah), the almost obsessive need to get everything perfect and neat in black&white, the proud webcam show-and-tell of his finished product and.. of course, getting a certain thing to a certain person.

So, pretty much, he has been making a present.

Hmmph.
Hello, make one for me too! (:

before after

just plotting down a thought:

every person, every situation, every present perception.
feels as if its being sheltered simply by an ultra-thin layer of plastic.

occasionally you shield it flawlessly the plastic layer is well intact.

at times too, you slip or become complacent, lax.
and the mega-vulnerable layer shatters, and you too, fall.

often times again, you believe you are continuously doing an excellent guarding-and-preserving job;
unfortunately you have allowed the colourless, invisible, precious plastic layer to go - destroyed, or drifted away, unconsciously.

involuntary

realizing it, being sensitive bout any likelihoods,
actions before needing any words.
true virtue.

Chong Han Jung has exams and needs to study.
:(

meh, fell asleep during short interval.
Finance is almost completed.

happy 13th, too
sounds MUCH better than 7th :P

i'm in!

I've joined the BlogOnHanj'sBlog group (:

I feel inexplicably happy now.

No, not because the boy has allowed me to post under his name

(but banned me from mentioning the secrets I hold regarding him)

*grins*

but because the day has been generally.. good overall.
__

No having to take public transport (ie. two long bus trips),

no rain without umbrella,

no depressing exam/assignment/tute marks,

and

certainly no forgot my phone/diary/pencil case/laptop charger moments.

Yes, I have forgotten each one of the listed items at some point in my 10 weeks of uni.

:(
*

Mhm, and exams are coming up (yesh for everyone too!)

so I hope people are waking up at 8am everyday to get your bum to your books,

concentrating in class,

doing beautifully written/typed notes...

(written ones take forevs!)

and ooh!

I quote Aunty Zoe.

don't forget to drink water!

*

That is all for now, back to nerdtime! :) :)

Happy 13th <3

more notes no doubt

on course for second consecutive day of 9am-7pm quarantine period.
not too bad ey? and fyi that's equals to 5 chapters of Finance.
baffled? please do. Finance seems unending. it's my major, yet.

need some vball and spikings. hell yeah. here i come ppl.
holidays, come too. gonna be a busy 3 weeks. 3 weeks to fulfill ample rest, utmost fun, and unfinished businesses.

wish situations be like how it started off.
but sometimes things are just not meant to be that way.
well, at least there are better situations elsewhere offsetting it.

nothing but notes

its an 8am kickoff today. youu :) tomorrow!
serves well tho. been revising since 9am that's phenomenal to me!
but i hate it that i'm sweating, while the fan is blown directly at me.
and its always good to add a person around here.

the notes are neat and beautiful. but im wasting lotsa time.
but i like it.
just hope it doesn't plot my failure in the finals.
meh not gonna happen.
but i find delight in doing things tidily.

okay, won't invade, but .. .

finance is still ongoing. keep me in this fine form, okay?

fishy

sometimes you don't comprehend why things go like that, and it logically cannot be explained outwards anyway. and it sucks the hell out of you. damn, i despise that.

i therefore announce 2-week quarantine period starts...now! *drum rolls da-duum*, *cymbals ka-chiah*. and i'm erm, msn-ing, fidgeting, at mcds eyes wandering ears roaming, and, writing this thrash. dang.

wooot

woah it was a major scare. 3 questions. 3 SIMPLE cost accouting questions meant to give us effortless coursework marks. i enter the class room cool and jolly. and when the papers were distributed i took a swift scan. expected questions. but when i look into it and started working on it, my mind start to go blank. and because its a mere 3 questions, the first fella finished his in barely 3 minutes im convinced. not a surprise either. and when a mob of em begin to hand up theirs, my panic button was well ready to be pushed on. i was still counting in circles! the thought of obtaining a big ZERO for quiz2 is unbearable, especially after a very impressive 14 of 15 from quiz1 and midterm. alright i didn't really press that button eventually. gained some composure, put all havoc aside, took slow breaths and began resetting what i began. hey, it worked pretty effectively. and i finished mine, successfully, right before the last fella did. job well done :) a huge sigh of relief. sunny day is back!

you know how it feels, so dont.

OOH WAIT. I'LL START WITH A "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUGG!" :)
.

today is what i call a busy day yet you enjoy it pretty much. it hardly happens. so its much cherished.

it was much earlier than the time im spose to start my day. but it was an all-time big hit, girl :)

met up with the AA so evaluation is recorded, another petty task accomplished.

hair cut cum sat. its been awhile. chopping em.

was thinking it was doom day - finance assignment 3 (yes, 3!) we learned abruptly, is due tmr! we blinked our eyes, poked our ears, stubbornly trying to convince our disbelief. it was gonna be another L.O.N.G sleepless assignment night. but hey, the light bulb ding-ed. the answer precisely we had. and doing what i do best - editing a work and making it completely a brand new one, mine. job done and done. awesomo.

alongside canceled lectures, hence an early departure home. vball. the privilege to steer the wheels of jon's fresh saga. pretty cool i'd say. the persuasion for new wheels is still ongoing. the current has one word to describe it - pathetic. no easy meat this tho, in fact almost a no go, almost.

a 3-question accounting quiz tmr. ironic? the tiniest bites hardest. luck be by my side.

its week 13. sem is wrapping itself up in 3 weeks. need to roll that socks up and put myself together one piece, quarantine (you know i'll never comply with my own rules) myself the next 2 weeks and brace myself for the grand final exam. remember who could motivate and keep me sustained? you tell me (:

just because i feel like

wes

singing "intentionally"

in recent times, things been pretty unusual. first-times. whether the peak or the foot. it is perhaps one of those nasty (or enthralling) pinnacle episodes in a tv series. well all those, for a purpose, surely. and i believe, most of the episodes have concluded.

i'v begun my revision chapters and its better news. keep that up consistently and i'd be scoring better than how the tough crazy sem forecasts is to be. hopefully.

if you look back at the recent record book of mine, youl see that the brain is gradually whispering to me I'm unconsciously * the * side of *. Yet again, i'm here where i am. So issue not (:


feeble, as always.

awestruck

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

the beauty of You. beauty beyond words. Indescribable.

mock meeting group + some missing from the pic!

back as it was. perhaps.

just snaps and a fri night

business plan buddies.

the guys.

what a friday it turned out to be in the end. it was supposed to be a going home and then have dinner but major assignments were accomplished and the urge of releasing the steam was pretty tempting. what more could i ask. another staying over at friend's (i think i only slept at home once this entire week) due to this random idea of hanging. driving out. getting lost briefly before getting back on track. alamanda we arrived. dinner at awesome BK. dunkins' buy-6-free-3 for pool hanging much later of the agenda. movie fast and furious 4 i'd say pretty hot and exciting. left alamanda and trooped to the ever-romantic and serene lake of putrajaya - fine scenery it was so wide and still and it feels ever so calm and lovely you wish your love was there next to you to noone. the most crazy of all, the hanging at pool which i won't comment further. the talk was pretty confidential and interesting as well. and there you go im so exhausted yet ever-so-satisfied and its really time to sleep. i haven't slept before 4 the whole week already, today no different :( im dozing off..... taas!

its history

it was finally business plan presentation day. the smart formal attires spice up each of our moods, not without the tensed look in some of the faces, eager to get our scripts right and be as presentable and attractive as possible when our "business team" propose our brilliant ideas. and what a massive relief i must say to have this finally accomplished, after the past days without barely enough rest, and the pressure as CEO to compile all 10 members' work into one fine masterpiece. hey, the slogan at the end perhaps was the perfect clincher - happyness is not a thousand miles when you remember Joy&Smiles (: ahh yes btw thats our company name! a job well done, no worries bout wtv minor hiccups there was. a great time as a group together.

and i was willing to skip dinner for one hell-a nap and im now feeling slightly fresher. finance assignment to next be mingled with, in an hour or two im presuming. they just love clinging on to you dont they? i have final to catch up with toooo :(

insanity

it was say 4 in the morning, the mamak restaurant was half-filled with football enthusiasts watching the intensive game. just before the stroke of half-time a crazy man stormed in and yelled at everyone. he was apparently one of the residents staying opposite, i presume being very annoyed with the volume coming out from the lively eatery. and he was still there with that really mad face yelling at everyone when they subsided after the game ended. i saw a palm-sized rock in his hand, i trembled slightly, and at the same moment wondered how bad he is gonna get hurt from me if the rock in his palm landed on my windscreen. then again, no hostile acts followed except from the dude's vulgar mouth. my point is, don't play games with a mad fella unless you are one too (:

the mood is pretty unpredictable. i don't like it.

thin crust

emotions and moods run exceptionally thin especially when you are already then irritated or stressed out hmm. wait, isn't that what happens to everyone?

sour milk

heyhoe i'm finally back here injecting new texts! simply saying, i'd be bugged with either quizzes, assignments, examinations, or people until my semester finally finishes in 6 weeks. hol is so gonna follow up thereafter i insist. cleared some massive assignment dues-and-three-tests-in-two-days-simultaneously hurdle last week and the weekend was a relieving breathing space. hey, to add some spice into the dull curry, i'm gonna participate in my uni's badminton close tourney and guage my standard, that's this week - gonna be interestinggg :))

("interesting") life resumes its course now and another mid term emerging cum thursday, of course not missing are the assignments my favourite, they just never end aaahh how sweet (:

sam, happy birthday again to you, great time we all had just now i'm sure. ADULT HAHAHHA! my turn comes in less than 3 months and i'm expecting more than that ;)

hey there girl (:

just need to sleep, really

its 6. can't sleep. still can't find the right environment to sleep. have to "wake up" in 2 hrs' time. have no sufficient time to sleep because there are endless work and i'm only half way through the week. doesn't help with my still-slight headache. the flu has been raging my mood all yesterday and still is. still waiting for the boiled water to cool down. so that i could moisten my poor dry throat. been hurting each coughing times. another whole day of school to accomplish. mid term test tomorrow. need desperate further revision. tired. need your comfort. not getting much.

human empathy

GAH NOW I'M SICK!
and i'm in class zz.

drain and comeback

the date says its already been a month since i last made an effort in ensuring this blog stays alive. it also illustrated the amount of time spent in war with busyness, almost entirely academic-related. it already is half a sem and im still striving through this really nasty patch, and the more congested every incoming agenda seems to be. i'm most likely, yet again i'd say, gonna miss the mark i set initially, and its sad because its more than doing it for myself. :( it IS tough and packed this time around but i dont regard that an excuse.

i reckoned the whole yesday night and this morn will be nothing but being pelted by the constant harassment of Liverpool or anti-MU fans. it was indeed somewhat a flamboyant scoreline and a famous triumph at the Theatre of Dreams but nevertheless its also the beauty of football and the overall victor that counts. okay MU do suck last night to be fair (:

it wasn't very pleasant too when a Saga boarded by 3 penang lasses, not knowing why, reversed as if i was invisible behind and pecked my front. the first thing all 3 of em came out and reacted was - checking out their slightly dented bumper, and nextly deny that the scratch on mine was what they inflicted upon. HEY girls, it would've been sweeter if you begin with a "SORRY". thats alright, because it was their fine day encountering such a sweet driver who spontaneously replied "nevermind" and without any sign of remorse they fled the scene in no time. well done han jung, NOT!

the morning sleep for sunday wasn't anywhere soothing, either. some uncomfortable moments left me moving to the living room for a change of environment and was then caught by the bitter thought of someone, and it went on for some time before i could finally doze off, partially. the wave of thoughts somewhat irked me pretty much. it was just yesterday the class was discussing on not being able to "eye-to-eye" with somebody. Alright, maybe not to that extent but the part where i simply just find fault or get annoyed and dissatisfied with that soul is really a turnoff. Okay you did step into my path but it was just the few hours which i was stamping on your feet. forgive and let go hmm.

coming week is a long one. quiz, mid term exam and 2 assignment dues await, and a week of hol follows, not without revising for 3 more mid term exams thereafter. its really been phenomenal that i haven't gotten sick till now, considering how weak and vulnerable my body system is, but i could already feel symptoms of it emerging. prayers needed. and so long to you.

chilled

I honestly haven't endured that soothing 18C breeze for some time now. And for all days, it was Valentine's Day which i have managed to have it brushing through my skin again. No, if you think I en route my random way up the hills at 10+ in the night with a lovely girl. There were only two others, guys. Its more like a yumchar outing at a farther and more significantly elevated land of Genting Highlands. The sky was mist-less, unusual it was. And the cool-ey weather eases my mood despite my slightly sleepy machine. It really has been awhile you know.

And it was like midnight and cars were crawling their way up to the centrestage of the highlands and everything was so happening and alive as Valentine's Day ticks its way away. And i literally lost count of the couples roaming the streets in seconds, some with the brightest of smiles, some with flowers proudly clasped in their arms and they were i reckon, getting ready for the 'lovely night'.

Coffee Bean, the typical iceblended mocha, and the now-nasty gust causes shivers that somehow satisfy my feelings. The swarm continues to bombard every corner of Genting and we just enjoyed ourselves being among em', though the pretty odd one. And did i mention too, the elegant red jumper was finally put to appropriate use, though i expect much of that in the coming years. It was 3 when i got back and i collapsed to the dreams, not without sheer contentment.

I'm a lil too late, but Happy Valentine's Day lovely ladies!

cute

papyrus

Since the friend mentioned bout reading my blog, thought i'd include another feather in it to bring in some freshness. The thought of a significant past often cross my mind and i'd be digging my brains out to recall that moment. Maybe you know, i should purchase a book one day and splurt out all these sparkling memories on it so i'd carry it with me my whole life. These things however whatever they are seem to unconsciously play a dramatic part in my life. The new sem starts too. Similar ambitious aims, enthusiastic initial approaches to classes accompanied by an increasing lax and slackened attitude thereafter, the observation of people in the school or while waiting for the never-punctual bus or inside the bus soothes the sleepy and dull mood, the little but worthy group of friends and a lil one or two here and there fills up my uni stint together with mini hang outs and so on. The kindergarten days, primary school years, secondary period, foundation times and the current stint have all been what i presume, underrated. They are such an impact in life and i'd not forget em'. Not the buildings, not the activities and classes, not the crazy things i go through good and bad, nor the awesome people coming and going all in all, good and bad too. The naughty years did happen, and it probably built me a better equipped person i reckon. The day is good and so are you.

squeezy squishy morning

The morn was a pretty pleasant one to start off. A well disciplined kind of waking up tho i didnt sleep till 3+, the neat swift washing up, the onning of lappie to check MU's score to find an impressive come-from-behind win and then the presence of my little buddy the roach. I never fail to describe its hideous looks everytime i mention it. The sight of it literally bulldozed my every resistant gut and sends me shivers down my ankles, and in fact often times feel like running as far as possible or leap up the tallest chair around. But nowadays i'm older too, older to stay rooted and challenge the miniature creature, older to have more competent guts to take a serviette or some sort to slaughther its every body structure and fling it to the drain. Owh btw, the early excitement and me writing it here probably cost me punctuality. See ya soon!

blogger juice

The yf-ers probably flooded their blogs with awe-inspiring remarks about the just-past camp; tremendous sessions, serene environment perfect for such occasion, breath-taking activities, startling intimacy of present and fresh friendships and so forth. I myself came back and felt overwhelmed, silent. It was indeed one of the best, if not the best camp i've ever had. And as the title declared, the 'blogger juice' as i call it, was far gone right till now, perhaps?

Ironically, the camp I was attending, was right smacked in the midst of all the nastiest of period in which you would try evading but all but fail. It was like a bad egg sandwiched between the juicy black-peppered roasted beef slice, mayo, lettuce, cheese and so on. In this case, the lettuce and company were the study week, an undone and highly massive Ethics assignment which has a due date a day after camp, and final itself in which if i were to prepare for it early, would be one or two months back - around when the semester itself started. It was all so hectic, messy and taxing near the flip to the new year.

And inspite of all the nonstop full-blooded activities, i have to admit i did pull through quite impressively and putting together too maximum enjoyment and experience the past weeks right till now and still ongoing pleased to say. Its holiday now tho and i was thinking of shooting off swiftly for once but didn't materialize unfortunately. Holidays somewhere - something i haven't done since people started eating peanuts - don't seem to be occurring at the moment the least. And mum has not too long ago been persisting me to go work somewhere, again. It happens, and i more or less anticipated it coming every time my limited 3-week holiday commences. Not that i'm lazy enough not to (or maybe i am), but the working days are always, and never fail to fall on weekends or un-miss-able days hence i never relented with mum's insistence and there you go, the naggings, grumblings and church-cant-make-you-richs. I wonder too if all this has to do with protesting against my religion and its affiliates :)

Its new year tho but i prefer keeping whatever new year reso-es and aspirations or past-year ponderings deep within. Too many of em and at least the juice isn't at the level expressive and enthusiastic enough to elaborate at this time. All in all, i no doubt have to say 2008 had been an extraordinary year filled with almost everything, black and white. And its no better looking ahead and try figure out the mountains and seas, dogs and cats I would be passing by at the present year. I opine every year, at least at my current ultimate lively period, would only get better, learn more, experience new and olds and such - whether things go my way or otherwise - because either way, i believe all these things will come to life some day when im a daddy and will strike me how much it has impacted and could not believe so if it didn't happen. Times could be all sweet and could just turn ugly in a matter of miliseconds. And for that, i open my eyes each day and promising to cherish whatever that'll be along the way. And so should you.

I'm actually on an interval, and decided to make it beneficial. I seem to be doing more things outside my craft these days, interacting and gesturing sharper to date. Its normal isn't it? Part of growing up a better person. au revoir (;

blessed christmas peeps

It is like a war zone over here you might say. Im running fracas all over trying to complete my assignment due 31st and im apparently far from achieving it before the deadline, unfortunately no thanks to a 4-day trip to Gopeng for Youth Camp. Don't get me wrong, I truly anticipate and miss camps but this bug around me at the moment isn't arousing any part of me, in fact its slicing me gradually. There would not be much of a lengthy joy and relaxation from now till possibly end of my final exam semester 2, which is 10th of January. One of my first times enduring this. Shows Im definitely old already!

Nevertheless, I'm here because Im working on my case study - 3rd one out of 7 to be precise - and found it difficult to overlook this particular video, in which I brand "total insult towards the females." Cut the female part, it is pretty funny actually :) I totally stand by gender equality by the way. Alright returning to the war zone. I enjoyed my short stint during Christmas service this morn fyi, and also this one here. Good bye.

hiatus, the opposite

9 December and 23 December is a pretty huge gap, and this stretch also defines my busy at this moment. Ironice ey? People usually shake their legs on their comfy couches and spend their leave period dreaming about the lovely upcoming Christmas which looms in a matter of days and what sweet little things they have done throughout 2008 while our friend Chong Han Jung actually just realized he has lesser time than the less time he already got.

By the way, if you actually still come along here though its been weeks this fine place has been left deserted, way to go, because your persistence has paid off. You are now feasting your eyes upon a fresh new post bravo!

Also by another way, I'd wish everyone Merry Christmas now before I most likely have no time to post another until final completes itself in early January. So blessed Christmas to every tiny soul on planet "suffocating" Earth. Unfortunately too, I have insufficient resources to contribute much to the spirit of giving this year, and yes, I will feel pretty shameful when on Christmas Day I receive those lovely gifts from you because I hardly gave any.

Not so pleasant a year to end with as you can already see so far hmm? Well 31st is a pretty significant day though. And one of em is i'd be handing up my Ethics assignment then. I was in the bus late night not too long ago, and I came about the thought that hey, deadline is just another week away and there's actually Youth Camp! That is minus 4 days because apparently there is no Wi-Fi service in dreamland Gopeng campsite. I'd be bracing myself for sleepless nights, perhaps starting tonight. McDs would provide me some motivation because there is no bed and my dear pillow around for me to take lazy intervals, but it compensates with additional kilos of sugar in my body. Goodbye and wish me luck before pressing "X". :)

wishing on a wishing star

You know humans us, our wish, wishes, and more wishes? Often times we don't get what we yearn for, and without a doubt im assured ten out of a possible ten times it happens, we would get absolutely upset about it. I would too, but maybe nine out of ten? I might see one of it in a brighter kind of light and think it might be what really is purposed to and will actually reveal in the near future how much better it is then actually having it, or, what i wished for. True? Perhaps, maybe.

you are my livewire

Daughtry - Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Whether you are going back home - to your wife and children, to your parents and siblings, to the embrace of your love, to the opened arms of Christ Jesus, to your everlasting home- heaven, or simply back to the life you once belonged, a life you simply savoured and loved. Welcome home.

fortitude

I'm back from uni, just though. Our all-notorious rapid KL bus has been at it again the past days, testing my patience with their awful-typical tardy arrival. I wasn't a kid this time like how i reacted the previous time it happened though. With the pleasant reminder that the petrol price is currently rm1.90 - i'm still not saying its REALLY cheap yet though coz we should still be privileged with a lower figure, I decided I should drive there to avoid missing half the Economics lesson, and bring forward discussions for the Econs assignment with my group.

Today's highlight isn't about the bus nor Econs though. It was badminton fitness test! I managed to bring myself and my jelly-like body back after a physically gruelling, energy-sapping, psychologically draining examination. Thought it was a test well accomplished and relieving.

Well the test starts with maximum abilities through a one-minute run up of 6 different activities:

1st: 4-count-squat-thrust is a regular fitness test for badminton players; consisting of 4 motions, first from standing position to squatting with hands laid parallel beside your feet, secondly to the push-up position, then third motion returns to the squatting and lastly back on your feet. I did 34.5 times this one.

2nd: press-up or more commonly, push-up or pumping. by this time slight strains within my body were already seeping through after pushing hard for activity 1, but still felt fresh. I totally broke down when i reached milestone 40.

3rd: star jump! Yeah as obvious as the name describes it. From squatting posture, jump up and look like the twinkling star and back to the original position as one round. Ermm 32 or 34 i think..

4th: trunk curl or as easily, sit-up! 37 times.

5th: wrist-rolling. Supposedly a weight dangling in the middle and rolling the wrist but apparently our Sir - whom he famed himself as a former malaysian badminton coach, said the equipment were missing so we got an automatic 20 rounds for this.

6th but not least: shuttle run. From baseline surge up front and touch the imaginery line bottom of the net and backward run back. 12!

Mind you its all 6 at one time, what on earth.

Fatigue simply overpowered any kind of motivation that could come to my head.

All of us were looking like zombies when we completed. 6 activities at one go (yes brief intervals after every one activity) were quite taxing. Sir said we need to do 3 more rounds! We were sensibly moaning like a big baby. He added the real test is supposedly 6 rounds, up to you to trust that, i don't haha. But the 1/3 dosage of our achievement, meaning sit-ups me 37, divided by 3 rounded up is 12. The 3 rounds run simulataneously till the end to test your overall endurance, how fast you can complete the entire course, subsequently pulse reading, to examine how quick you recover. Nah i just find it interesting to describe the whole experience thoroughly, do bare with me. Never had a test like this my whole life. Hope the legs can carry itself for casual badminton tomorrow though. That 3-rounded speed test, the worst 6mins 10secs of my life, well at least almost. As if the first part was not enough.

Erm dinner at Sri Kembangan with my buddies thereafter and lotsa conversations! Fun fun. And a smooth and swift journey back home. I think my body is yearning for a bath and a well-deserved recuperation for some time already. Good night!

blend isn't exactly good

Thought I might as well include this for today since I mentioned it to bue. Around 5+ our friend gadiy rang me up so i headed to opposite kj lrt station to meet him up - to wait for the Fly troopers! Honestly i haven't collected goodies from whichever troopers for a long long time. Its either i'm too lazy to wait, the goodies aren't attractive enough, or i'm just too cool for it, what nonsense.

Then the buddy said "I think they will come out (yes they were chit chatting in tha car) at 6pm". So patiently we simply stood right in front of em and talked while waiting. He even called me to hit on the trooper chick at the front seat! (; The stupid thing was we decided to leave when they were starting to operate, and that was after waiting for roughly an hour - coz the goodies sucked bad. Nevertheless i choose to instead appreciate talking to him the past hour. And fyi, gadiy decided to stop by again before he left that place and picked up kinda like a file thingo. He even showed me the zip, which has an Adidas logo on it just to prove its a good goodie HAHA!

I got econs quiz tomorrow and i'd be reading through the chapters now, for the third time. I'm more hardworking nowadays ey? Pretty interesting to note.

kindle but douse?

Like to play with the blog post title. To me it seems like a part in your post that is lesser of importance so instead, i'd usually enter something either related to my mood/thoughts, or most times simply some word that pops out and lingers in my head. Thus it could relate to my post, indirectly that is, or otherwise. See? I just made it slightly interesting than just thinking of what cat or dog to write.

Kindle and douse (at least in my brain context) are opposite in its definitions. You either want to do the latter or the former ain't it? But how bout doing both? Does that even strike any sense? I do not know. Perhaps why i'm asking you. Does that even work? What happens to the object whatsoever it might be being inflicted two actions totally contrary to each other? Not so fine ey? heh. Funny why i'm asking whoever you so many qs.

Need to run some music in the head, like exercising it and keeping my buddy going. It feels like a drug though, the aftermath :)

Erm btw, chendol was chendol lar. 3 people and some flashbacks, i think, and several casual but not less interesting conversations. And a little kurang manis, tambah manis, or best, neither.

Owh, today is December first. Nothing significant though. Just, a new day.

dove evolution

Hmm not gonna comment too much bout this though. I was simply surfing through the net for stuff relating to my Ethics case study about "unethical advertising" and find it fascinating, this video.

I'm quite eccentric, inconsistent and undecisive most times a person i consider. Just 3 days back i jotted down a lengthy paragraph to be posted on the blog, perhaps too to celebrate successfully posting for 3 consecutive days. Then an about-turn again and i deleted it entirely. Hehh, what a loser :))

Been playing alot of badminton lately, or maybe too much at one go, considering i haven't been playing it recently and the body isn't quite indicating the adaptability green light just yet. My returns are weaker day by day and its not so good playing weak shots in front of many admiring eyes haha (; so i'd choose to rest tomorrow instead..aahh finallyy! Fitness test for badminton is next week; there are two tests consisting push-ups and "4-count squat thrust". I want to and believe i can be the fastest. Bravo :/

*snorttt

Slept at 5.30, up 2 hours later on Sun morning, lunch and fm, then futsal. After that i knew (in fact i already realized when i awoke the morn) i'd be knocked out and fall sick by the night or the next day. Thus i quickly washed up and forced some food in my empty stomach and surrender to bed, that was around 8. You know like those springs dangling out from a failed machine, my legs felt somewhat like that, all stretched up and 3 quarters dead, could hardly feel em'.

Heyy, but somehow i was up at 10 this morning and the frequently sick dude isn't sick after all! (: Still feel a very slight giddiness but all normal. And therefore i'd be going to co-curriculum badminton session after all later. Need to mention too my Uni's Cybertracker has almost everything you want to dl, and it completes in matters of minutes so i do look forward to go there and look out for what i can find over there. Want anything ask from me k? :P

Miss those getaway holidays though. Wanna do one somewhere in the near future.

Hmm also, quite keen on seeing me friend who just returned, knew for ages (like 12 years?), and haven't seen and catched up with for ages..haah not thaat long but yeaah, gonna be pretty interestingg.

Erm, yeah that was Sunday and hello Mon!

hiatus

Its bout not too long before the weekly Youth. Just awhile ago i was in the air-conditioned room, lying down on the comfy bed, whispering to my mind im tired thus i'm here. I'm not sure if i was really tired though. The bed is such an addictive spot i'd willingly consign myself to - of course, for no apparent reason besides being tired. There, my eyes fastened and my mind relaxed and let loose whilst i enjoy the comfort of the chilly yet soothing atmosphere, and apparently the very pillow i was hugging - the same old pillow that has essentially aid in helping me sleep better and dream bigger through the many years.

I don't exactly know why i'm here now too. Attempting to fiddle at the qwerty keys at blogger.com to come out with something brand new on my page. I think it was just yesterday i was telling a soul about my notions toward blogging.

"The fact that you start a blog means you are prepared to tell people bout your life or story or thoughts";

"Don't think too thoroughly, and not be pressured into writing";

"Write when you genuinely have something to and it'll make your posts naturally more pleasant and intriguing";

"Often times we think less bout ourselves, at least in the case of blogging, or what we write about but its something
more in the eyes people";

and so on whatsoever. Occasionally too - such as now - i come here simply to write, right, write. Its some sort of your imaginary friend you talk to ey, or simply to spam something on when you feel blank or random whatever it could be. If only too blogger have this convenient sketching tool like msn (or perhaps they do have) and youl see me here everyday coming out with funny thrashy, blank drawings. Okay i think i'm done with talking to this imaginary friend, at least for now. Nothing much else showing up in my brain atm. Good, bye.

P.S Owh in fact i do have something to speak on. I had my class for co-curriculum in badminton on thursday and we learned about the badminton court and its dimensions, the sections' names and its purposes, and at the court itself, we were taught on high service and low service. How interesting :/

hollow way

From corporate business ethics context. Rang in your ears before isn't it?

"All that is needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

-Edmund Burke

"We have to learn how to be good, honest and fair, but being bad seems to come so naturally to us all. I learn more about how to be good, treat my fellows and the world about me with greater respect, every day. It's not easy, and the alternatives are always there; the easier course..."

-Rudyard Kipling

Case studies for this subject piling up. Other than that, short sem's been pretty relaxing so far though. And i still cant put that cbox in here im puzzled just why.

plum-line

At this age, i'm still young enough to further improve physically or in terms of a certain skill. Take for instance, futsal abilities.
At this age too, i'm actually old enough to feel pains or pressures after sports, particular my back, the regular ankle and even my knee.
I'm 20 btw. Isn't that too young to? I still got maybe 4 or 5 decades of race to run, erm hopefully.

.

Honestly speaking when Aty Jane first called me to be part of Sunday School worship team, i wasn't quite fond bout the idea. In the first place, i'm not too sure if i'm a stage person in accordance to my personality, i'm also not a kid-magnet or a crowd-puller. Its been a year i've been doing exactly that and the spell already made me realize i could somehow be (partially) wrong about what i perceive as fact, in which i take joy of, knowing that being sincere with what i'm doing - in this case doing actions for SS worship and making children happy to be there, would in return be sincerely appreciated.

.

I shared before with bug though sometimes i wonder whether this or that whatever it be are worth it to, or i should just flung everything out the disposal window and forgetting bout em totally. Apparently most of em so far been the former i believe. Something about life just everyone got to overcome. Obviously i'm not doing too well with absorbing that as a reality isn't it. I always complain. Complain so much when i actually mute myself do i realize whats all that qualms all about or should it even be existent in the first place.

.

And also i think i'm quite a back-peddler. Mentioned before i've got this double personality, i think i wrote that in my fb profile. Tend to look in front occasionally and other times i might actually be hoping things would slow down or worse, stop and never change - whether its for the good or actually not too good since there would be no chance of changes (improvements) to it. I categorize myself to an old village man, who eventhough half-realizes the country needs to change and step up the gear, continues to vote confidently or perhaps blindly for a present government (whom i strongly reckon are still very behind in its state of mind and managing the basic needs of the people) without having any petty considerations about its whichever alternatives because he has been doing so for the past half a century. Mortals like us should be ostracized. Similarly, its called stubborn right? Yes i can be one at times. Not sure though my statement could actually lead to an ISA arrest but i'm merely giving my honest remark nonetheless, no again?

Are you not resilient enough to accept criticisms? Then sorry, no improvement, forever.

Owh yes you, just so you won't be dejected seeing no updates since you pledged to check it out. All is alright, hopefully, in weeks' time too (; and the race continues...

gray or grey?

Nowadays the fire infuriates deep within while emotions under sheer scrutiny, well kept and constrained. Not too bad i opine. Good night.

the butterfly glides

i have this tendency of thinking alot when i'm all tired and ready to call it a day in bed, roughly around the 1am period. I'm not so sure though whether its good or bad, all these thoughts come clicking away in my head and it has actually become my brain peaking point - the phase when the brain operates at its utmost function and flexibility. And also did i mention, it is when i could come out with brilliant blog posts and i get quite excited bout it - yes, when i'm suppose to be all sleepy. Unfortunately as you know, it all disperse the next morning, so no brilliant blog posts ey :)

.

Well i have 4 days of school each week and i just completed my first day for the week and for the sem bravo! So i'm glad enough to just linger by here a moment for once without much particular highlight to post up. Okay thus, i'll just jot down some thoughts and plans i currently have. And a goodbye before you begin to loathe my crap and click that "x". bye bye (:

1. i wonder at times though how many ppl actually come by here and read em (yes bug i know your my #1 loyalist heh). But i mentioned before i write it more to myself so it doesn't bother.

2. i realized i have learnt not to directly step into people's matter. as busybody i could get, i'll just observe from a safe distance and keep quiet. no qualms, controversies whatsoever. fair nuf.

3. i got an aim for this short 2-month semester to achieve at least a 3.3 pointer (3.15 last sem). i'm adamant i'm smarter than that and would work hard to prove that.

4. if i have sufficient money by mid next year i'll contemplate putting on that metal on my zigzag-ey teeth. ppl tell me its my teeth-growing line (whatever you call em) which caused my teeth to be uneven but i insist to put blame on allowing my so-called uncle to pull em like plucking grass eeeh, feel sick imagining those moments :/

5. i want to work hard and rise up fast to garner enough to stroll the world with my dear wife in the future (:

6. i often think i'd never fall into "dangerous" temptations because i'm resolute and have firm resistance plus a proven test passed with flying colours, but as i grow older now i'm beginning to believe its a lie. glad i'm in a fairly safe position and i'll continue to lead this life.

7. during my past 3 weeks of hols, i had more opportunities to lunch with sis, but i wonder how far i've reached out to her. maybe i could do more? not much more though.

8. there's quite a something wrong with my back. each time after sports, mild ones even, the hurt erupts at the end of my spine, feel the pain when i bend. i don't blame myself actually for dreaming of being some spoilt-rich-adopted kid when i was younger, because i could easily spend on anything, and which perhaps could save me my spine!

9. if i ever have time in solitude, i'll write every interesting, good and bad episodes in my life, of course, in the most beautiful of handwritings. I love writing words neatly for it portrays my personality or present mood somewhat. Did i mention too, i have poor handwritings when i was in lower primary. people change, no? ;)

10. i'm actually rather happy atm. thank you very much you (:

arise

I just had my hair cut again strategically timed just the optimal length nearing the Christmas period (+ another cut 1.5months later). Vain much ey? It to me is in every human, most. I realized though a pretty miserable thing bout hairdressers is they never get to see the end result of their haircuts? They could only see the mess - that is when you visit em with your ugly bush; and your crop - which is just after they complete styling your hair. Or you could term them infant (crop/after cut) or elderly (mess/going to cut). They just would have no chance to see the adolescent hair growth, pathetic ey? :) but the fact that you visit them again and again indicates they laid an awesome foundation leading up to a decent o'adolescent.

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I'm not too fazed or enthusiastic though seeing myself appearing here and here. Maybe because i'm particularly self-conscious and somewhat expectant.

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I checked my final results online yesday and what a relieve i passed every 6 papers! Despite missing several Info System lectures and 2 of 3 lab tests, i could still make it, thank God. Nowadays i don't feel too much the intense when exam nears. Maybe i would a day or two before and i'll be stuffing all the knowledge in, a messy sporadic way - like how a babysitter forcefully loads baby porridge into a baby's poor diminutive mouth. School continues next Tues though.

I have too, recently been babbling about my future - what i'll end up doing or what's in store for me several years later, how much i could actually earn enough to support myself and lead an affordable comfortable life, how long i would take to earn enough money to do this and that etc. Perhaps just another period everyone goes through in their life when they spring out of their teenage years. Apologies for those who had endured listening to my wild future fantasies and wonders ;)

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There's this book i'm currently reading - The Uninvited - about a young unemployed factory dude who ventured into grand banquets to find a living - yes, eating and collecting "money for your troubles" as a journalist in disguise, and became an accidental freelance journalist, consequently discovering many hidden truths and conspiracies in the society. And as a "journalist", he played his part in finding justice with the aid of his good looks and "golden retriever" charm for the sidelined community - not without causing trouble for himself and, a little affair with a pretty cute little masseuse too :)

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Worship leading, again, this weekend and hope i don't screw up too much. This time i'm implying more formal preparations like jotting down exactly exactly what to say - less of my usual spontaneity as a new approach. Will see how it goes. Yes, finally a post in weeks.