I think maybe its in my blood that I'm a bloody good guy. The heart is always a very pure one. I have to honestly admit, I had my times when I was exactly one of those whom i call "immature" at this time. Who doesn't? But undeniably, it is really such a blessing that from such a subtle thing like going to Sunday School because I have nothing better to do on a Sunday, and because there is food lying everywhere as long as I sit still or at least mumble out tunes for an hour or so, I am what I am today.

I never thought such a decision leads me to become a Christian as I am now, more specifically, God has unconsciously gradually entered my life in such an amazing faint way. I have come a very long an interesting journey after so many years - whether I was just an innocent kid looking for food and Sunday entertainment, or when I was introduced to a Youth group and reluctantly joining just because my parents pushed me to, or I attend Youth just because there is captainball, or even now when I'm playing a much more responsible role. This God has shaped me - in which I'm very thankful grateful for no simple words like these explain itself - to be what I am today, despite many different situations I have encountered right till today. I would still be one of those people having nothing in life if He hadn't done anything about me.

It came to the point when I realize I don't quite need to "control" my behaviour to 'look' like a Christian, was when I know I have taken my life to a higher level, perhaps a step closer to God. I have my natural fiery character, but honestly no situation quite deters me being what I am. I must have thought many times, if I ever return to old ways, it must take something extraordinary. I love you, God.

Sorry, I have failed.

sk8 your way

Oooh btw today I was listening to Avril's Sk8er Boi again. It's one of those songs which is made up of a WHOLE story in itself.

"Sorry girl but you missed out,

well tough luck that boy's mine now.

We are more than just good friends,

this is how the story ends.

Too bad that you couldn't see,

see that man that boy could be.

There is more than meets the eye,

I see the soul that is inside."

7am jogging from Rich's to Bukit Gasing. And a hike up the hills. Breakie at Raju's. And maybe a swim after all...

the very very late

And so, i came back late last night and for the second time this month, didn't bother switching on the comp to do the routine checking and this that (which will end up way into the morning). So I slept after bathing and woke up and decided to do more chores!

Off I went for lunch, went to apply for Touch&Go Rapidpass Pelajar, which offers students 50% off, and a Touch&Go card instead of the boring ones. But apparently they said they are 'very strict' with their policies so I MUST get a certified hardcopy evidence with my student ID card. Meh, don't mind a trip on the train nyway. And then I came home washing the toilet and a few more this and that.

And so, tuning back, while I was on my way for lunch, this dude called me. He apparently is from IBM! Flashing back, the first ever company I applied for internship was IBM, with high hopes of securing a position there, especially since I submitted my resume through Mr. Chai Cheng Sheng ahem :) But they came SO LATE I wouldn't have thought I'd get an opportunity there, and also because time was running out! Not too smart apparently on their part. Although I don't mind going to where I'm set to go, which will commence in June and for 3 months, I felt quite abit of a loss, having missed the opportunity. Its not just the 3 months there, but if only I secure internship there, chances of re-entering after I graduate is several times higher! Its IBM man :( But nevertheless, I trust where God has placed me and I'm going to move on.

I was looking down the apartment yesterday. It was after a heavy downpour and the breeze was ongoing. The beautiful swimming pool glitters from the light reflection, and it was nothing but a perfect time and ambiance for a pleasant night swim. But I didn't have any spare clothes with me, so it remained just a wish. I would believe I'd go for another similar occasion before work comes about. Its way too good to miss. Yesterday I thought of many (probably less achievable) activities to do too.

Outstation trip might be possible if I choose to fork out money, rock climbing sounds impossible cos' its REALLY expensive especially without Eu Bing, Thursday i might just head to Richard's and jog with him till Bukit Gasing, and I will do my sprint hike up the mini mountain. It reminds of the same jog up trailing Gabriel from behind, pure adrenaline, sheer fun. I reminisced cycling moments too, when I used to follow my brother with a junky bicycle from behind when he cycles out to godknowswhere, and he will feel annoyed; probably going to do illegal activities or meet the gf or anything random. And there was once, as if you will be surprised, I skidded on the slippery sandy area, bleeding over, and bro turned back and helped me home. Just one of the few accidents I had with cycling. It remains one of my favourite activities, but I don't get any more of that nowadays. Now, I wish for a bike hahaha.

Speaking of budget control, I have lost my futsal shoes awhile ago, and I'm apparently reluctant to buy a new one. Odd much considering its Han Jung? I don't know, I'm just suddenly not willing to spend a few hundred buying shoes. So last Sun's futsal I was using Jon Lee's shoe (I don't know it just ended up at my house then he left for the States thereafter) and my toes hurt! Stupid Adidas shoes, ZERO comfort, ZERO performance hmph.

I have tons more of chores to do still, some requiring to travel here and there like today's, some seems so much a nuisance I couldn't bother doing but I'll still do it eventually. Other than that, its all relaxing for me, part of gearing up for working in a little less than 2 weeks' time. Owh I am partially going to miss going to University. And the lecturers do work during the breaks, what an effort we students don't appreciate, not to mention know of. Since I don't get to download movies from Uni that easily, I'll be re-watching some. Okay, its getting long. Fullstop.

the pile of love, the piggy bank, and the computer game

Its the first weekday of my holiday! 2 mere weeks and i'll be on internship for 3 months. My one useful activity for the day makes me reminisce a part of my journey of so many years. And I am a no one without coming through these years. Now i'll be waking up every morning to one pile of love, all against the wall. People I will treasure whether I still talk to em or they have gone afar.

Being at such an old age now, it also made me think of times when I was younger, times when all I know is to get latest branded attire and wears. I have come a long way actually. Because when I was even younger, me and twin were already very much opposite of each other. I used to be the one keeping every single coin in the piggy bank, while my sis, will break the bank. When I was richer and discovered the idea of spending, I grew more alike with her. I have grown from all these years, now realizing there is little need to want everything. Though I still go against that notion at times, I know it is in a way, part of my gearing up to the next level - like a computer game - of difficulty in life.

You are all every single part of my life

i'm a pathetic piece of soul...

...or is it my car, maybe both :/ Was driving to lunch happily then i realized something weird, the air-conditioner is coughing out slightly warm air. i check my damn temperature meter (it has been a problem pretty recently) and damnit it was near the H(ot) white line! WOAH i immediately turned off the air-con and wound down the window, still crawling along with the awfully stagnated traffic, even managed a desperate prayer. I was (finally) en route to my destination after some time of blind searching. But our dear friend just got hotter, its has reached friken red warning zone and then towards the next border white meter line! I was starting to panic and started having kiddie yet emergency questions like "What will happen if it goes even hotter?!" "Should I carry on? I'm so near already!" "What if it EXPLODES and I become ashes!" "What if the engine (only) blows and I'd cause a whole center stage drama presentation in the middle of a swamp of vehicles, a hundred pairs of eyes?!" "Is it time to die...?" :(

Not sure if it was heaven I have arrived, but I saw a bus stop where I could pull over and just run as far as possible from the car (just kidding). Struggling right at the end, car couldn't start but restarted and I fortunately pulled over, nicely parked. It was really astonishing and terrifying driving a car which has probably gone feverish beyond feverish. So I survived, had a bloated lunch, even drove the car home. My dad came over to help get sorted out, but I have to say the car was probably just competent enough to steer me home without any major tragedy. It WILL be fixed (yet again) tonight! I even requested dad not to tell bro. My privilege is that he has to work at this time and will not know anything! :) But really, they should perhaps regret deciding on having a major revamp of the car instead of forking out more to buy a new one. It is, in my terms, "unsavable" already, and the more (we have probably send it to the mechanic at least 4 times this time around) we fix it, the more problems exist. On a random thought, the brother (on a better mood) and I were talking about choosing in between 3 RM70k - RM80k cars, between the new Mazda2, the new Honda City and the Kia Forte. Yeah, I presume, just empty talks.

As I have complained, this crazy brother gets insane when he goes through an emo spell, in which I have endured since my memory started operating (you can ask my twin, she probably endures this as much as I do). He will launch a typical rampage, butchering me verbally with all kinds of incredulous absurd statements. Well for the car, i literally SHUT UP just because I'm using his now. Wait till I become more successful than him, and have an OWN car of mine. He is just simply disrespectful and still fail to control his emotions at such an age, so disappointed, the supposed role model. I even complained it to dad just now, and he shrewdly reminded me not to get affected too much/long but focus on my priorities now, to study hard.

Enough of ramblings, I completed my second paper yesterday! It was a major one, which I stayed on the night, fervently attempting to cover as much as possible. Having the perfectionist kiasu attitude at this stage isn't all that bad. I had a very brief nap to reset the mind (just like that of your computer), and I woke up feeling like SHIT! The spin in the head was surreal, I was looking frantically for composure and I obtained it after some time. I couldn't afford to look for it too long anyway. After that, the engine ran smoothly, with lubricant aka adrenaline all pumped I headed for exam unwaveringly. Unfortunately, our brilliant punctuality of public transport halted the progress and I was half an hour late but it only added to my determination. A full-blooded 1.5 hours of solid writing and I managed just to complete the tough paper. I started revising on the subject, having found no reason to believe that I could do this paper. There were just so many tough chapters to cover, and I couldn't seem to grip it. But as I slowly recovered, I realized, if I could just ignore how difficult it is going to be and just focus on doing my best to study through it, I can do it. I did.

I headed home with maximum satisfaction, caught the buses right on time early enough to go to Midv for 6.30pm's Ip Man2. I arrived as late as I was for my exam but the movie was simply worth it I have to say. At the end after Ip Man defeated the Twister, quite bloodily, he modestly told the damn European crowd, "My defeat of Twister today, isn't to prove that Chinese martial arts is better than the Western. Everyone has different statuses in life, but we are all equal. All I wish for, is that we (the Westerners and the Chinese) learn to understand and respect each other. That's all, thanks." What a moment, what a glorious glory, so humble, so emotional. And then, the whites one by one stood up, accompanied by applauses of nothing but respect for the legendary Wing Chun grandmaster.

Today has been so relaxing, I probably need to gear up again for the next paper on Monday. And for now, it has been nothing but a smooth sail.

DONNIE YEN as YIP MAN

Hmm, something cool for me and you

Look, this is what I accidentally found while looking for other stuff but meh, worth reading!

Young adults are at a vulnerable point and take peer pressure very seriously. They worry about their appearance which can cause those that do not have a weight problem to take unnecessary measures. Skipping meals isn’t the answer. In fact, skipping meals is counter productive as it causes the metabolism to slow down and use up FEWER calories. Never, EVER skip meals when you desire to lose weight! This can’t be stressed enough!

One necessary part of the best diet plan is exercise. Sometimes, this can be enough. It helps your body to digest the food that you eat. It builds muscle which naturally burns more calories than other body tissues. Exercise uses energy that would otherwise be converted into fat. If you increase the amount of exercise you get you increase the quantity of calories burned and consequently, the quantity of weight lost.

Consuming water is crucial, particularly when you are exercising. It’s the only food you can eat that’s guaranteed non-fattening.

Rather than consuming three large meals each day, switch to 4-6 smaller meals per day. Rather than eating breakfast cereal and toast for breakfast, just have one or the other then have a piece of fruit a couple of hours later. At lunchtime eat your sandwiches but set aside the fruit or cake for afternoon tea etc. This can keep your body’s metabolism working at peak performance and stop the food from being converted to fat.

Bear in mind that the best teenage diet plan involves eating smaller amounts more frequently, and getting heaps of exercise.

Any changes in your plans?

anguish, resilience, patience