the seedlings to plants tale

They were just born - raw and tender.
The lawn was pretty broad, but they stayed rooted next to each other, closely, adjacent.
Passers-by stride all over the fine greenish lawn without hesitance - including em.
The erratic weather included searing heat, sturdy wind and infinite storm.
It all slightly stagnated both their growth.
They were even their own foe - combating against each other.
But it all apparently didn't stop them from emerging from seedlings.
The whole cultivation experience was emotional.
The moments were aplenty, and they were all memorable.
Though they were just seedlings, they had emotions like humans too.
And yes, there was also the inevitable plucking part.
Alas, it wasn't both of em, it was just one out of two.
It was clearly miserable.
One plant standing on an open field, solitary, sad.
But well, only God would understand how, could comprehend why.
The gardener tugged the soloist out eventually and replanted it in his garden.
The garden was perhaps haven for every plant.
And guess where was it planted?
A fine reserved spot.
Right next to it.

the moment

i have this zeal
and its boon or bane
but i like it alot
because it makes me, distinctive
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iv seen plenty
tried on a few
but nothing
fits this one ever so perfectly
but for now it remains in that cabinet
but im glad its still there
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btw happy 18th birthday joanne yu
(:

the art, of living.

funny how life changes in just a blink of the eye ey? i was reluctant to actually start a blog, even if it was for assignment. Then when i began writing and writing, i started liking it. Right until the last post before the blog was "handed up", i felt reluctant to stop instead. Sidetracking, everytime when it comes to writing (an email, a letter, an essay, a long-answer exam question etc) i feel that lazy sensation in me, but when i do pick myself up and work my fingers i can never stop. No, this doesn't go along with short private notes (+ the mailbox!) to certain special people, i'll be full of desire even before i think of what to write :)

okay anyway back to the blog part, after that i thought to myself: "okay, you love writing and expressing words like its a pure art, why not potray it? to yourself if not to the readers?". I do love writing alot. When i write letters and little notes (even this post), the beautiful unimaginable ideas just start twinkling in my own sky like bright little stars and it just never stop. Anyway, thereafter i started posting personal blog posts here and found it to my liking. In fact, i actually created my own blog and transferred everything in. The day i created the blog and found it pleasing, i abruptly turned the tide and deleted everything, telling myself i'd just keep the whole thought to myself. The picture of a blog with barely any visitors threatened me. Which blogger would want that to happen ey? And i dislike the fact that i make up my mind to do something only to find/to reconfirm myself thrashy in it. Hey, now your like reading a post from me after all that fracas in my mind. This is inspired by mower tagging me!

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You know we humans make so much fuss about changes of things and decisions when unconsciously, it actually leads them to a better path. We are blind people in your sight and thats perfectly, true.

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More than half a year ago, i was standing in Sri Tanjong bookstore (hey sarah you still go there to buy your stuff? hope you dont enter the shop with sour-faced assistants :P) and was trying my best to pretend to be fervently arranging the primary school workbooks which looked nothing far from havoc. My eyes were 3-quarts closed because of the job excitement and there i was half hoping the supervisor doesnt come looking for me, and the other half of my brain focus was on studies, when i would ever resume. And there you go, september 19, 2008 i'm approaching my study week for final and mid term marks have so far been decent. See, how life just sweeps past you like a running bullet? savour everything you experience right now before some time later you think, "man, i really missed that".

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Hey its friday again and time is ever so pacy. I did another haircut today in 1.5 months' time. And i got this need to find out what really is wrong right under the skin of my ankle because it hasn't healed since last month. could do an xray or praying that the cost won't reach too many hundreds. Worship leading is coming up next week too, man i really need to learn time management.

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Okay yes, that motivation part: the tag. Its called State 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. And there you go:

*1 Almost every personality i have, i constantly do the opposite (determined/doubt, calm/anxious, fast/slow, aggresive/timid, etc etc etc.) So i don't really have solid personalities.

*2 I rage at being insulted, provoked, looked down on, sarcast-ed, embarrassed most of the time.

*3 I never repeat listening to a song continuously no matter how much i love it.

*4 Got a strong sense of pityness esp towards cute little objects (dolls, baby clothes, toys for instance), animals and some of the most ridiculous things you could think of.

*5 I could only REALLY sleep when: (1) i sleep on my own lovely bed back home, (2) i sleep facing either side (just not facing the ceiling), and (3) my head lies on a pillow, hugging a pillow in my arms, and one more between my thighs)

*6 I like listening to good music loud and I hate music with nothing but noise.

*7 However much i eat i could not add some meat to my body which makes it kinda sad.

*8 I get sick, thirsty, tired/sleepy, hungry in no time. Cant live an hour without drinking water.

*9 Prevent using toilets which are: wet, dark, small, stinky, with strokes of hair on the floor, tiny floor tiles and without toilet bowls. I'm hard to please :/

*10 I got phobia for creatures like lizards, frogs and esp roaches (what phobia's that called?).

*11 I hate most seafood because i'd imagine a living creature on my plate and find it unbearable to place one in my mouth. forgive me you seafood lovers ):

*12 Surprisingly i'm pretty strict with myself when it comes to cleanliness and neatness.

*13 I naturally dislike crowd, conversations or talking to people, esp new people because i'm lazy to talk to em and making conversations itself. Shy in general.

*14 I'm super careless and i feel everyone knows about this. I think i'm slightly better now!

*15 Infatuation happens easy for me but falling in love takes a pretty, unique little lay-deh! :)

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These pics struck my mind when i browsed through my pictures section.

one fine day, not quite sure why i entered Paint and started drawing for all things, a turt. proly the only image i drew which i could afford to click 'save'.

i love the color contrasts and the people in this picture!

moving my body, the bass and everything to cover up those mediocre skills ;)

nature's lights

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I just came back from an awesome meeting and also looking forward to my final post entry for this memorable critical thinking assignment. The meeting was fruitful due to a successful brainstorming session by my adult buddy. This meeting is for a church evangelistical event by the Youth, which emphasizes on dynamics and creativity. To my delight, the whole planning session reminded me on the brainstorming topic I learnt in critical thinking tutorial. It was just right for me since I was out of ideas for my 8th and last blog post.

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Anyway, our theme is The Art Of Living - which is, four (most common) ways of living our lives to the fullest. As everyone were looking confused when our facilitator, Benny swiped out an oak leaf. It was the whole initial process of brainstorming - the 3-minute warm-up exercise. Instantaneously, our flexible mind were geared for the real planning itself. Startling, ingenious ideas started flowing like Niagara Falls (metaphor); some even crazy and ridiculous, but all jotted down on the whiteboard by Benny. The best were picked eventually and together with its own unique titles, and all of us committee members agreed with - Let Go, Let God (there are things just beyond our control and sometimes we just have to trust and let God handle the situation); Weak Is The New Strong (our response might look like losers to most people but that is the best way of responding in reality); Alone Without You (many people feel by having all kinds of social life, it means they are on the right track but what they really need are true friends, and it doesn't require many) and; (im)perfect (the title it self described - either you feel imperfect or otherwise; accepting who we are and what we have/are given). With the base idea accomplished successfully, we can therefore build on it and anticipate a really good show.

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I have mixed feelings about this last post - something i have previously so look forward to, and presently, it is like separating from a freshly-known friend, and it will end here. I always like to insert something distinctive or unrelated in things i do. For my conclusion, i decided on the inclusion of a soothing scenery snap. It somehow portrays my emotions (just like how the sun ray reflect upon the path) and it, at the same time, is presented in a simple way - no complications. Personally, there is a reason for everything we do and whatever happens - why i chose a pure black backdrop for the blog, why white texts for my final post, why I chose not to argue with a random sarcastic person on the way home etc. Life doesn't have to be too "high-tech" and sophisticated; plain simple will look equally fascinating. I cherished this short, and simple 8 days of blogging, in which not only helped me to be still and think deeper about our daily doings, also gave me more knowledge on critical thinking, in which I previously overlooked. Thank you too for spending time on my site Mdm. Jessica. You must be feeling all relieved its finally over. Checking out :)

protraction.

Today was pretty ordinary, similarly simple - and I did go to uni, on time! Sides classes and quiz, I got home early and decided it was the most ideal time for some gruelling massage on my weak ankle. As I have mentioned before, my ankle has always been injured and I just kept on playing - the young man's passion. You know from my past experience, you should visit the massage master only when you are feeling high up the sky and sheer buoyancy aplenty. Or else, you probably won't eat for the entire day.

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Today was somehow pretty satisfying, feeling great and I headed for the sifu without hesitance. Dad says its rare to find a sifu like him these days, who truly masters martial arts for medicine to cure all sorts of injuries, and knows precisely which joint is displaced and exactly where to relocate it (without the x-ray indeed!) - not forgetting the 3-second "pain of your life". As usual a human line is always present right from the entrance of the "nightmare" room till the doorstep of the exit. Outside that room hangs a modest-looking banner written in mandarin "If you come and see me, you will endure some pain but you must trust me. If you trust me, i assure that you will heal immediately. So if you come come and see me, you will heal immediately. (Chain Argument) Today, i observed that some came with strained backs, another with an awfully bloated foot and even a wheel chaired-bound old lady, not knowing what ailment struck her. But one thing similar between all of us here - every soul who makes it out of that room did it with a terrifying yell first. Every time I hear one, my heart starts pounding faster than the footsteps of the historical Usain Bolt (Metaphor).

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Well to cut it short, it was my turn and I survived and was elated to look forward to a stronger ankle, in which it is back to sports! Before I left, sifu warned me beforehand, again in mandarin: "If you restrain yourself and rest for another 2 weeks, i guarantee your long-term internal ankle injury will heal completely. So you better listen to me and rest for 2 weeks, then you will be healed. (Modus ponens/ Affirming the antecedent). I went home with great joy knowing that my weak ankle finally would be healthy again. I promised myself to control for the next 2 weeks. And now I'm happily spreading the good o' news (;

wOw aNoThEr DaY?!

Let me tell you a simple story! Way back in the Ching Dynasty lived a very lazy student named Chen Ho. Although he often find excuses to proclaim his belief, for example, not attending school for a week because he feel 'nauseous', he is still a hardworking kid who still hands up his work on time and scores reasonably well in every examination. Later, a rare test was announced for those who would like to become a scholar and work in the palace. It only happens once in 3 years and those who are exceptionally brilliant could only make it. Chen Ho had no worries about the test as he was more than confident of passing with flying colours. But the night before the test, Ching Emperor's main rival Zhu Emperor and his soldiers abruptly burned a village not far from Chen Ho's place and news broke fast among Chen Ho's villagers. Chen Ho believed that due to the 'state of emergency', the examination would not be held. He slept soundly that night, and so was the rest of the village. Chen Ho realized the next day, that he has missed out the opportunity to enter the palace because of his unproved presumption. The test did happen and he regretted for 3 years of his casual belief. -Anecdote

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I definitely am in some holidaying mood. Since Friday it has been quite interesting, and enjoying the non-uni period. Well somehow the thought came to me that last week the Malaysian Studies lecturer mentioned there would be no lecture this week (Tues early 9am class) so the thought got me excited and to reconfirm, I asked my friends and all were not sure - in fact to be honest, they were more like bemused by my somehow ridiculous approach. Hence, it disheartened me the fact that there is nothing special after all and its early waking up the next day till I concluded that since the make up test takes up an hour of the lecture period, there should be no class and probably there was where I heard about the class cancellation! Hey, self-declared holiday for me today - there you go! This probably is termed self-evident assumption. As you expected, the lecture did happen and now my attendance is below 75% :/ Weak premises definitely do not lead up to a firm conclusion as well. My 'belief' that because of the make up test, and thinking that I really did hear the lecturer declaring class cancellation, there would be no class indeed is invalid and weak. So long people. I'll be in uni tomorrow, no doubt ;)

POLitical POWer!

THE ANWAR STATEMENT

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From learning Critical Thinking, I realized that politics link the Ad hominem circumstantial Fallacy with their statements or speeches almost too frequently. Without any offence, today's article (link above) about Opposition Leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim stressing that Malaysia belong to all races amidst National Day. Simultaneously, he also mentioned the spirit of Merdeka is absent when the nation is still ruled by its own community, before concluding that Malays should support leaders who detest corruption and treat all communities equally. It apparently is one technique of attacking the government's weakness and indirectly persuading the people to pour in their support for him towards being the next Prime Minister. Honestly, who at his stature wouldn't do that?

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