dry and drain

i love talking bout time - how it might change the most irrelevant, unnecessary, unfathomable, unanticipated, and the most unimaginable of many things in our life. And before we could adapt ourselves to realizing its happening, it already is blooming wide in our very eyes, the eyes of the astonished, the eyes of an awe-struck mortal - and it perhaps is what is so unique bout the whole process through time.

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the sixth time i heard "you may leave the hall now" out of as many final papers in the past two weeks was nothing but relief, relieve that all the efforts poured in and those sleepless nights endured to ensure the best outcome of the final could be finally put to rest. It was a moment when you just feel like locking your eyes together for a second and put back that smile on your face, a soothing moment of silence. And surely, it also is a moment of commencement of a 3-week holiday - 3 weeks of rejuvenation and refreshment, of completing all the petty leftover assignments and chores, a time when you could actually do things you often perceive as "no time", a period when you could open up treasured collections again and linger at every word or picture as long as you wish, and also wonder what else is fascinating to complete a well-deserved 3 weeks. Day 1 today would start simple though.

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hmm actually week by week in yf i hear anderson telling us what a pity so-and-so isn't here when the topic would be most ideal of him or her to gain knowledge or rewind of. Come to think of it, it is like you are slipping by something which could actually aid your uncertainties, fulfill your wish or more so, change your life the way He expects. Therefore, i was pretty satisfied i made it just on time for the whole class session last week because it definitely talked into me.

do you still reminisce times when you first know of Him? You perhaps were quite young then, and the enthusiasm no doubt would be extravagant. Every worship you attend, every good news you here bout Him from your teachers and every miracles your friends speak of or even those which occurred from your own vision, you feel so strongly about and really mean wow. Every week seems like another journey up the hill. And how did you just feel yesterday during service? Was everything just another walk-the-path routine? The songs you could sing precisely by shutting your eyes, plucking the bread and lifting the tiny wine glass and transferring it to the next, and the 'lectures' which you could afford to drift away into your own dreams? The class reminded me again that everything now seems so mechanical, and it absolutely is dissimilar from the original, no more that zeal. We have grown weary and gotten too familiar with the weekly clone. It probably was more emotional or unique for me as i was a non back then.

Anderson also spoke of the visit to the palace. and i'm sure you would be using the classiest of adjectives to describe your short spell all week. And here is the king of kings whose palace you attend week by week, the king of kings that walks with you and speaks to your heart everyday and every split second - the omnipresence King we have our fire for him nearly distinguished and further threatened. This is the outcome my teacher said, of preoccupancy of other things. And these are things ranked way below the Saviour. It is akin to another class about noises - raindrops from thunderstorms, your parents donating you nagging, the busy traffic when you walk on the road, your friends when you are in school and also your indiscipline and disobedience in placing priorities below more attractive activities.

Do you miss the times when you were fervent and eager? Do you yearn for times when every week feels so dynamic? Do you need a time of silence? Do you need to refresh your relationship with Him?

Deu4:29-30 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him.

No more Moonlight Resonance for me to watch. It was more than splendid of a show, similar to the original Heart of Greed, and was my entertainment throughout my revision times. I need something new to keep myself stuck to the chair and my eyes nailed to notes. Man, love that show.

溏心風暴之家好月圓

the wounded, the healer

2 weeks of revising JUST on accounting and it was finals day1 today and i couldn't help but gulp and tremble examining question by question. Have i really operated a total upsidedown method of studying, or maybe I should've started studying before the sem began? But over is over and i just have to carry on with the upcoming papers. 2 more consecutive days and another 3 the following week. Goes to show yes, coherently you put in dozens of effort and covet a similar well-deserving outcome, but fact is you USUALLY do not garner what you expect eventually. Well i should better buck up before i see myself staring blank and pale at the exam grades with all sorts of alphabets but A, or even B. I do not want to fail those who have given me the chance to return to this route, put optimistic hopes on my head and trust me, more so myself.

You know i dream of having this garden with fine cushion-like lawn, flowers everywhere and maybe a valley, with the wind constantly tussling my mind off, and i could tune a sunny day or a clear night with the bright light-bulbed full moon in sight. And whenever i need silence, or a time to ponder about anything, savour everything, i could enter that haven. Maybe i do need it atm. Now, slightly zapped of motivation but i've no time to sulk but stand up and shoulder on.

Hmm next week would be nice. After my friday paper i'd go swimming and stay over at friend's apartment. With his housemates all on holiday already, we could have the whole house to ourselves, do whatever we want! Hey, mind you and myself, the next day would be the last paper so not much of entertainment to anticipate. And yes, back to studies...

*Owh btw im on episode28 moonlight resonance. My pretty entertainment amidst the dull study periods.

And i hope the tutor marking this blog have done so long before i started inserting personal blog posts here, or i could perhaps see myself getting an egg for assignment scores.

hols and finals

Hmm sides my short-lived misery of losing my wallet and phone, nothing interesting in particular. Well ben, not trying to publicize your masterpiece but just thought its a cool story to share. It was yf, games and post-games going home moments. Washed my hands, hands were damp, asked ben to help hold my precious wallet, phone esp. Well, we went for dinner after that and beforehand realizing he was still holding my stuff (he followed eugene to ss2 while i drove myself and Caleb). I got abit traumatized when ben told me he already passed it back to me. Thus i zoomed back to my car and search thoroughly. I returned and repeated my question, just in case they were pranking me. But all of em were so blur and the anxiety within me reached a higher level. Okay, so i sped off in my car - back to church! The journey was apparently swift and risky, i somehow had 50% of composure and the other half driven with fury and lividity.

To my surprise i saw benny and lareina about to depart. I got down the car and looked around fervently, like a scavenger having not eaten for days. I reckon the couple was puzzled. They helped me search and asked around, and then also Harris and Anwar. MAN could you picture that disarray and embarrassment, and baring in mind what people would think since i already have history with losing valuables. When the phone call came on Harris' phone, i knew i was made a clown of. Well the positive thing about the whole madness was the fact i was reunited with my all-and-important phone and wallet, plus its like telling me i've grown from all the erruptions and learnt something bout being in control of my emotions - to an extent. We learnt bout different types of angry people during sermon and i was under "the mute" - keeping all the anger whatsoever. Well, i guess i'm slightly further from that already, no? I for once am pleased that im old-er.

Erm pranks are pretty cool actually but please be reasonable and limited, and only prank the right things. No, definitely not my phone. Yes, but that was all. No bruises or cuts all over Ben but the touch of forgiveness :> And i think Caleb now owes 40 push-ups for refusing to admit the gracious Han Jung would not blow his top and give Ben a hella time. Pretty cool ey?

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Hmm randomly speaking, give me a ball and i'll be stroking it everywhere with my enthusiastic feet non-stop. I love the ball being played at my feet. Feels like an art, a way of expressing your flamboyance and personality. And speaking of futsal, maybe after my finals or when joel returns, we might have the proposed fantasy futsal competition happening. Sounds interesting, and sophisticated too - the organising part.

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Finals commence Tues! And i've studied pretty seriously - because of your healthy exhortation :) unfortunately only accounting covered so far though. Too many contents to just drop by and go. 3 papers in as many days consecutively, and another 3 papers later, and one sem concluding, a semester i was so looking forward to start after a procrastination of one big year. It was a whole complicated journey, and its here, finally. Thank you so much.