If this blog is ever transparent,

the posts will come flowing like a ferocious waterfall.

But, its not..

if only you would

Waking up early as usual and making it to the office by 8.30am is already a feat, but pulling through the daily morning meeting itself probably took up threefolds the pressure. After that, it has been non-stop working and ensuring every activity will go on smoothly. I finally retired and got out of the office, timing it just before the jam starts to boil, but the weather itself has already been boiling for hours as if any different from the previous days, making everyone on the street extra moody from the heat. Plenty of thoughts along the way home, and now finally comfortably in my room, regaining my composure with the aid of the beloved air-conditioner.

It was unexpected actually, that work is becoming more hectic, demanding more responsibility and effort, gaining even more exposure. People closer to me would probably have been victims of my complaints or dissatisfaction, verbally or simply expressions. But after 11 weeks of training, I would not feel ashamed to admit that working here has garnered me a whole lot of new experience. Being in this field, you make your own business and you are your own boss, and well it has definitely thought me abundantly about being systematic and well-planned, AND planning ahead (well, i used to always think i'm pretty organised). But this by far has been the most crucial: being confident. You might not get this, but you might be confident about executing a task, but yet it is also your lack of confidence that will ruin your build up. Complicated, thats me. It is a lot about how you want to see things in its perspective; it is often about how with your positive intentions, turn a typical mindset into believing what it really is; it is always about striving and being patient and optimistic, turning something deemed impossible into something feasible. It have been many things I lacked of, admittedly.

In a few weeks time, I will be leaving. Holiday for 1+ months surfaces, and still not knowing what I will be doing then, and also yet unsure of whether I belong here and whether I should return, not knowing how much I have carried home from all that I have learnt here. Through all the thorns of pressure, stress, annoyance, frustrations, and impossibles, it has been amazing, overwhelming.

And the pressure resumes...

Face Your Giants

The day has been a gloomy one, and I somehow always feel good being under this weather. I watched this movie Facing The Giants, a Christian movie about a school football coach, facing defeats after defeats, in football, in life. And seeing how he changed his mindset and approach, and watching how his obedience and his resilience turned his life around - from consecutive football losses into winning the State championship, from being considered to be fired to an inspired and respected coach, from being unable to produce to having an unexpected child, from having headaches with a broken car to being rewarded with a brand new one.

Giants of every kind step in our way each and every day, at every moment of our walk in life. We keep telling ourselves we can't do it, we can't take it anymore, it is too tiring. He was blindfolded by the coach and told to perform a physical drill carrying another teammate. Coach kept on reminding him not to bother whether he is reaching his target, but to give his very best and keep on going, don't stop. And when the blindfold is finally released and with every bit of energy seeped, he finds himself not just achieving his target, but surpassing way beyond it.

But the giant's calling out my name

and he laughs at me

Reminding me all the times

I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again

"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth

tells me a different story

And the voice of truth

says "Do not be afraid!"

And the voice of truth

says "This is for My glory!"

Out of all the voices

calling out to me

I will choose to listen

and believe, the voice of truth.

.

With You, all things are possible. -Mark Willard