hanj and livewire

2011-10-30T21:09:00.002+08:00

Lost count the jobless months, you appear occasionally, the next time i see a dressed up human, then disappearance could last days, your stuff sprawl everywhere, half-eaten food lie around, you return and give orders like a dictator, you lament you sound the trumpet and you declare war when you encounter disagreement, you feel the world is against you, but you never look into yourself for answers, you expect things to fall onto your feet, but you never moved and earn your own, all there is in your dictionary CHILL OUTTTT.

What kind of world do you live in?

2011-10-07T01:30:00.005+08:00

I am beginning to think that the most brilliant people on earth are the school drop-outs. Just watch the Steve Jobs, the Bill Gates, and the Thomas Edisons go. They are perhaps naturally brilliant, but it is the fact that they do not like or need to follow someone's structure of learning. They have it their own way. And sometimes, flexibility serves incredibly and the results are incredible. Now, think again.

Apple, Microsoft, or a light bulb, anyone?

R.I.P.

Mr Jobs

Reminiscing it together

2011-10-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

Of all the new or refreshed things I learned about God for the past week or two, I'd summarize it into one line and one verse.

"But if from there you seek the LORD your God,

you will find him if you seek him with all your heart

and with all your soul."

-Deuteronomy 4:29

And this morning playing for Sunday led worship He proved to me how great a God he is.

I have a dream. And it takes 4 levels to realize it. In a way, it delights me. In another way, it hurts.

It's been awhile here, ain't it?

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had

2011-05-03T01:58:00.010+08:00

Yeah, might be way too ancient for some of you...

Love love the vio, the sweet elegant side of it. Wow.

Impressed & in awe much.

the 2011 Ford Fiesta S

2011-04-18T16:45:00.004+08:00

Yehh this is a lil over-craze, I was literally gazing wide-eyed all over the Fiesta parked beside the road where i was waiting... Want a Fiesta S?

the one shopping i need!

2011-04-15T15:19:00.003+08:00

I didn't see it coming myself; Just a planned breakie en routing to hair cut at Curve, and me and twin ended up BUYING STUFF! Exactly what I have been imagining yesterday its terrifying my senses. I got a checkered top, and an above-knees shorts (i always prefer it above fyi) and i was happy! When paying time comes, the salesgirl told me i get to choose another FREE checkered shirt! Am i dreaming?! Now i have TWO :D more than elated!

Finally back home, not quite the schedule i planned for today. Nevertheless, it gives me more adrenalin to do my work. Pics? Meh, come look for me instead ;)

sensitivity

2011-04-14T11:22:00.003+08:00

It's only 11+ in the morning, and I have already endured that full force of self-consciousness somehow today. Everything feels so awkward, unusual, and ugly to me. I walk about without looking much at people, feeling especially susceptible about what people are thinking about me, I feel my shirts being way oversized that its time to have massive shopping for clothes and sizes I WANT, i feel my ugly bush of helmet on top of my head is more pathetic than it already is, i feel this, i want that, i hate those and all these things i am probably too SELF-CONSCIOUS to reveal further. lol. just one of those days... looking forward to going home!

2011-04-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

Every time I fall into that circle,

my mind scramble about,

looking for the most appropriate response.

But I suppose it often goes wayward.

Perhaps there IS an ultimate solution,

which I rather ignore.

Aquaria '11!

2011-03-26T16:53:00.009+08:00

Being usually not so much of the fishie fan, the Aquaria visit did portray a fascinating impression of sea creatures! Together with JV, Missa, JJ, Jon, Keith and Bue, we were off for our yf class outing. Having payed a reasonably large sum for the entry, pictures are of course a must to take home at the very least. So here are some (poorly) taken pics of God's amazing creations. Don't mind the phone camera quality.

(sidetrack) Here are some random Melbourne pics to start with...

maybe this is common, i don't know.

these are real humans, in..cement/clay!

they were posing motionless...

or you have a name for that..?

it took awhile to snap a decent pic.

but they are cute lil' things.

can't imagine eating yummy them!

spot the bird!

he was flaunting his wings arrogantly,

and for a very long time!

the beautiful view along Yarra river.

when i need a time out, i know where to go.

And now, Aquaria...

first things first, the Piranha!

doesn't look as ferocious, does it?

misconceptions of ppl, poor thing.

he is (tad) hideous,

he is unknown.

the catfish! got to touch it.

i must say those stupid kids were pretty

aggressive with her. felt like smacking em'.

Chinese fire-bellied newt.

it crawls around in the water,

ultra cute.

this, the opposite. it is MOTIONLESS!

now that explains the better pic quality.

presenting...

Albino african clawed frog.

Potbelly seahorse anyone?

the Fire shrimp.

beauty in red.

this is cute.

the Water rat.

Chambered nautilus.

the mighty Octopus!

ahh the potent...

its the Moon jelly!

simply stunning.

one of the most unique looking.

sideview.

the Leaf scorpionfish.

This is not a fish. Yes, it is Jonathan Wee! Since i was asked to come out with an idea for a little 'celebration' for his belated bday, its always good to do it the 'embarrassing' way! So from fish porridge breakie onwards, he had to wear his plate and crown throughout the outing. And boy did it work! Passerbys wished him Happy Birthday, some (typical Asians) gave him stares, and well, the Aquaria staffs actually set us all up and gathered us at the "theater to feed the fish" and together with the crowd, everyone sang 'Happy Birthday'. Must be his best birthday ever. epic.

As much as i yearned for my sweet Saturday sleep-in, the Aquaria and class outing experience wasn't as bad as I thought, after all. Bimbo moments, crazy jokes and laughters, a pretty sea experience, and some good relationship-building. The End. :)

twilight

2011-03-25T13:54:00.004+08:00

Nah, I just can't put it into words.

When you are going to die, you just try to do everything else

you want to do while you still can. There is no rest in peace

and letting go of everything and be happy whatsoever. This

is how it will be. At least for me, I suppose. It was terrifying.

It was just a dream.

2011-03-21T02:22:00.007+08:00

Though the earth give away,

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam,

and the mountains quake with their surging,

God will be our refuge and strength,

and an ever-present help in trouble,

Therefore we will not fear.

Be still, and know that I am God.

-ps46

From the calamitous natural disaster of Tokyo,

to your very own problem in life,

be reminded that you are never alone,

but to learn to be still, and wait,

while God performs his wonderful works.

for you, and you.

will be in my prayers.

early phases of 2011

2011-01-23T01:15:00.012+08:00

we used to all want to look and act cool in yf, be the standout or mr. popular, and be the spotlight of spotlights. perhaps its only natural that it doesn't twinge anymore just going about behind the scenes, coasting through and playing your own part in serving God, to try to bless the others who need it instead of yourself, and quietly making a difference.

the car had a major operation today, reviving all the subtle yet crucial tiny compartments i never knew of which have accumulatively damaged the car bits by bits gradually. not fully restored, but definitely a much needed operation no doubt. the owner shares the same bliss.

looking through the rings together makes me happy. it'll be a really meaning memorable gift for each other. (and no its not a hint, its a reality :p)

as the final few assignments are due next week, followed on by a massive wave of final exams DURING chinese new year - my last long semester and second last semester of uni like forever, it will be interesting to see how i sustain my momentum and my endurance throughout the whole period. after all that torment, it'll finally be time for a holiday. a honeymoon, in fact.

28 days ♥

Joy Williams - God Only Knows

2011-01-15T05:56:00.005+08:00

has recently become one of my favourite Christian songs. Meaningful impactful song lyrics are so rare nowadays. We today have G6s and Keshas and Perrys..

Here is, to me, a song.

You're in one of those seasons

Everything seems to go so wrong

Wish I could give you a reason

But even I'm barely holding on

When it's hard to find the answers
Let this be your hope

God only knows all your broken pieces
Only He knows what you're going through
God only knows what you hide inside
And He's holding onto you
God only knows

You've had your fill of questions
There's so much that you need to know
But I don't blame you for asking
But it's time to let go of control

And I'm sorry for what you're feeling
Please hold on to this hope

Come on, come on, He knows your pain
Come on, come on, hold onto faith
Come on, come on, you're on your way
My friend, your struggle has an ending day

Only He knows
Only He knows
Only He knows

2011-01-07T01:35:00.001+08:00

It's month 22, and we're approaching anniv2,

and melb :)

a pure disaster

2011-01-05T23:34:00.010+08:00

Every tale starts off well,

things look damn good,

and the future reflects a smile.

Some are rather short-lived,

the rest never ever good,

perhaps in the very first place.

Usually it begins with ambition,

and ambition comes determination,

then egoism steps in,

and a little too much insistence,

and the downfall begins.

Look at the mess you have caused,

right from the little things,

up to the big bad happenings,

you have wronged at everything.

When it didn't seem right,

you pushed ahead might,

when it seems crashing down,

you believed it won't drown.

Right till this very day,

nothing ever looked right,

but it is all a little too late,

and there is nothing you can do.

They have finally left,

it would have been a feast,

but now they are pissed,

little we know what's underneath.

Why do you make people,

make people carry your bags,

where lives and futures lie,

and now nothing but bye.

Often times I would have pity,

but equal times I am angry,

for broken promises recycle,

time and time again.

I wish you know her life,

where thorns and wry,

never seem to die,

but she never want to sigh.

If you could turn back,

and see all you have achieved,

and see the remaining pieces,

lying around half dead,

and at least wish,

that you had never made,

so many of the wishes,

you once confidently make.

If only the time machine existed,

to realize what you have done,

to never put all these things,

right ahead of all others.

But the present can only wish,

for the past won't repeat,

now look towards the final dish,

where no mercies meet.

2011-01-01T14:22:00.003+08:00

All that past week or two's work out down the drain, and the terrible past few days... I definitely don't hope these that are indications of my year 2011. Or could it be?

Nevertheless,

happy new year 2011.

All I want for Christmas...

2010-12-17T23:19:00.005+08:00

is a happy lovely family...

Snow is falling all around her,
The lights are shining bright tonight
It's easy to think that she is glowing,
But nothing's ever feeling right
Remembering the fire burning,
The presents underneath the tree
She's feeling alone with no one coming,
Home this Christmas Eve

But this is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

The Sun is breaking through the darkness,
We see it in the bursting light
We're coming to see that hope is moving,
And things are gonna be alright
If we could only find a reason
To let a broken heart believe
That all the worst is overridden, so open your eyes to see

This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

There's a lot to think of, can be overwhelming
But this is where we come back to the start
Of all things created, it's extraordinary; love

This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for

This is the year that we're changing
This is the moment we've waited,
This is when we remember what we're made for
This is a time that we're hoping
Seasons coming and going
This is when we remember what we're made for
credits
released 15 December 2010
Written and Produced by New Heights

2010-11-20T00:14:00.001+08:00

i lost my pencil box. everything. gone. emo. period.

starting below bottom

2010-11-14T21:43:00.005+08:00

some start off at the higher level coasting through just like that. well some start off from the very negative. unfair, isn't it? you wonder how much you need to do to overcome that gap, how much you strive through just to prove something so subtle to others, where others manage it with a simple click. unfair, isn't it?

there is so much to do, but to start off with you don't even know what is going to happen anyway, you have no idea how precarious you are, and you are not even sure after doing everything you will win anyway. unfair, isn't it? well now is the time to start below bottom - the place where you are - and work extremely hard, to do whatever it takes to win this, no matter whether it might or might not anyway. because you know, you want it.

flashback

2010-11-13T21:32:00.003+08:00

okay, i'm writing this down probably in case i forget em' in the future, since yf class today discussed indirectly related to this topic. These are perhaps my greatest ambitions, or simply ambitions i once wished for, whether it was a petty childhood one, or one which i really thought will materialize:

detective (because they looked cool in tvb dramas)

teacher (because teachers were cool for me during primary)

engineer (because my former neighbour was rich)

pilot (because i love adventure)

psychologist (because i am sentimental)

cafe owner (because it just is cool to be one)

Still don't know what i want though, so lets see where God leads me to for the next crucial few years. cheerio!

2010-11-06T18:55:00.003+08:00

From my extensive hiatus from blogging (still is!), it just feels instinctive for me to return here for a reason. And I choose to post about several verses i found. And it definitely means a lot...

In this world, you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world.

-John 16:33

In my distress I called to the LORD,

and he answered me.

From the depths of the grave

I called for help,

and you listened to my cry.

-Jonah 2:1-2

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified;

do not be discouraged,

for the LORD your God

will be with you wherever you go.

-Joshua 1:9

To Him who is able to keep you from falling

and to present you before his glorious presence

without fault and with great joy - to the only God

our Saviour be glory, majesty, power and authority,

through Jesus our Lord, before all ages,

now and forevermore! Amen.

-Jude 1:24-25

"Follow me," Jesus said to him,

and Levi got up, left everything

and followed Him.

-Luke 5:27-28

Restore us to yourself, O Lord,

that we may return,

renew our days as of old.

-Lamentations 5:21

But to you who are listening, I say:

Love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you,

bless those who curse you,

pray for those who mistreat you.

-Luke 6:27-28

2010-09-08T17:03:00.008+08:00

Why do I feel like, every time I try to be nice, every time I put in more effort, every time I try, it is the more I receive despair, the more I see myself fail. What adds to that is that people don't see the production, they see the product and nothing more.

Why do they see me this way? Why do they react to me this way? Why do they treat me this way? What have I really done this badly to deserve a treatment like this? Because I'm a sinner? Because I'm someone who make mistakes? Because I'm HUMAN? Because of what? I don't even know. Even till the last day, I feel like a fugitive, I feel like I just wish to end it and move on, I just wish the final whistle blows and I could find a lame excuse to dismiss and terminate post-celebrations, as if I belong to it. Why do I feel that way? Why SHOULD I feel that way? What have I done wrong really? It's okay, I don't wish to be involved in everything, and I'm not looking back at it. But I'm glad to see that some at least try, thank you. I don't blame and I don't regret, because it has taught me owh so well.

Why should you feel that way about me? Do you feel robbed and overshadowed by a mere peanut like me? Do you not know me after so many years? Could you have reacted in a more positive manner? I don't regret as well, because it has also taught me well.

I know and you know that you are and you will always be top of my list. I have abandoned many things because I feel there is a more important place to be. I feel I have always tried and done decently, if not brilliantly. But I can't be almost perfect everytime. I have no choice too sometimes. Even when I have to leave, I simultaneously think of the top of my list. I think about what I can do to make up for it. I wish I can be there. But I also wish you see all that.

In fact, am I the one that needs revision? Have I done things I'm so used to I don't even realize what people sees? Have I focused and talked about others too much? Do I really have a big issue that I'm trying to generate it to others and blame it on my situations? Maybe you could answer that for me. But I just wish people would see me in a more positive outlook, then perhaps you could see the inner side of me. Then again, that is only just many wishes and thoughts. It is the world you are talking about. No ifs, no buts. Welcome to Earth.

2010-08-15T02:45:00.004+08:00

If this blog is ever transparent,

the posts will come flowing like a ferocious waterfall.

But, its not..

if only you would

2010-08-12T17:03:00.012+08:00

Waking up early as usual and making it to the office by 8.30am is already a feat, but pulling through the daily morning meeting itself probably took up threefolds the pressure. After that, it has been non-stop working and ensuring every activity will go on smoothly. I finally retired and got out of the office, timing it just before the jam starts to boil, but the weather itself has already been boiling for hours as if any different from the previous days, making everyone on the street extra moody from the heat. Plenty of thoughts along the way home, and now finally comfortably in my room, regaining my composure with the aid of the beloved air-conditioner.

It was unexpected actually, that work is becoming more hectic, demanding more responsibility and effort, gaining even more exposure. People closer to me would probably have been victims of my complaints or dissatisfaction, verbally or simply expressions. But after 11 weeks of training, I would not feel ashamed to admit that working here has garnered me a whole lot of new experience. Being in this field, you make your own business and you are your own boss, and well it has definitely thought me abundantly about being systematic and well-planned, AND planning ahead (well, i used to always think i'm pretty organised). But this by far has been the most crucial: being confident. You might not get this, but you might be confident about executing a task, but yet it is also your lack of confidence that will ruin your build up. Complicated, thats me. It is a lot about how you want to see things in its perspective; it is often about how with your positive intentions, turn a typical mindset into believing what it really is; it is always about striving and being patient and optimistic, turning something deemed impossible into something feasible. It have been many things I lacked of, admittedly.

In a few weeks time, I will be leaving. Holiday for 1+ months surfaces, and still not knowing what I will be doing then, and also yet unsure of whether I belong here and whether I should return, not knowing how much I have carried home from all that I have learnt here. Through all the thorns of pressure, stress, annoyance, frustrations, and impossibles, it has been amazing, overwhelming.

And the pressure resumes...

Face Your Giants

2010-08-05T17:47:00.017+08:00

The day has been a gloomy one, and I somehow always feel good being under this weather. I watched this movie Facing The Giants, a Christian movie about a school football coach, facing defeats after defeats, in football, in life. And seeing how he changed his mindset and approach, and watching how his obedience and his resilience turned his life around - from consecutive football losses into winning the State championship, from being considered to be fired to an inspired and respected coach, from being unable to produce to having an unexpected child, from having headaches with a broken car to being rewarded with a brand new one.

Giants of every kind step in our way each and every day, at every moment of our walk in life. We keep telling ourselves we can't do it, we can't take it anymore, it is too tiring. He was blindfolded by the coach and told to perform a physical drill carrying another teammate. Coach kept on reminding him not to bother whether he is reaching his target, but to give his very best and keep on going, don't stop. And when the blindfold is finally released and with every bit of energy seeped, he finds himself not just achieving his target, but surpassing way beyond it.

But the giant's calling out my name

and he laughs at me

Reminding me all the times

I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again

"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth

tells me a different story

And the voice of truth

says "Do not be afraid!"

And the voice of truth

says "This is for My glory!"

Out of all the voices

calling out to me

I will choose to listen

and believe, the voice of truth.

With You, all things are possible. -Mark Willard

sip of a cuppa

2010-07-17T11:06:00.012+08:00

Almost a month of non-blogging, and now I actually found a perfect opportunity, a pretty fine timing, a good ol' morning, and an average kinda' mood. The fact that I'm up (I have to be up) right now feeling as if it's only 8am makes me feel lighter better, and now I'm on the coffee table at the living room doing something I have hardly bothered doing due to disinterest or lack of a thing call 'time'. What's missing on a perfect morning is a little bit of a better mood, and i'd say, a cuppa coffee to sip on! Ahh, how i wish. If I demand a little bit more, at a classical cafe, and directly in front of me, an outstretched beauty of a golden sand beach, some firm lil' constant gust which will make it all the more pleasant, and you can't escape some pretty little girls. But meh, these are all made up of dreams.

And after so many years, I still can't quite register in my mind that there is another Mercedes Benz out at the porch, looking handsome and portraying the "I'm here to stay" look. Unfortunately it is not my dad's nor mum's nor mine (yeah, another dream). It is my aunty's! (This about the uncle) As much as I pretty much despise him for who he is what he does, he did earned my respect an awe. The overwhelming disbelieve that of an old man who IS still comfortably living life without any work at all, after 30 years - and he just burned some small amount of cash on a German machine! HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?! Which means, the Vios has also finally been passed on to my brother! And if you see the connection, it means if lucky, I could finally be driving a more decent car! Meh, it might not be mine, but I'm pretty optimistic I'd get some kilometers once in awhile. Now, I won't be surprised to find myself praying for the brother to go off somewhere for several days/weeks.

Work has been hectic but pretty fun, not because work is totally outrageously fun, but the healthy relationships and atmosphere in the office, living together and doing the same stressful work. Do consider this strongly when you go out hunting for jobs next time. It is not all about the work but also your surroundings. A possible Penang trip next weekend, and wishing I could bring my girl along, and walk on sandy beaches.

I wouldn't say life has been smooth-sailing and fun and smiles each and everyday, but what is important is how I deal and overcome the unhappy tasks I'm put to face. It is tough isn't it? Who would want a smooth ride only to meet with a cliff. But as grown up humans I believe, we just need to learn to say, "This sh*t is going to slow me down, but it ain't gonna' stop me from crossing over and regaining but comfortable ride." And I'll start getting ropes and get started with work. I'm probably the last person to be talking about this, but it is really just it that we need to do. Don't forget your fellow riders as well, they are there for a reason. Now, I'll see you on the other side, and we can be back on a smooth ride.

btw i just had a fresh haircut, and i think i hate it (no not this one in the pic)

OA Retreat Nostalgia

2010-06-20T19:18:00.009+08:00

Since it has been lingering around in my phone for a week already, I thought I might as well thrash it out here for everyone to see. This is just one activity of OA - part of Games. Very simple, we were at the erm Shah Alam Lake something for picnic and this game requires us to snap pics together with a list of objects which are located everywhere along the fairly extensive lake park. But meh, eventually this game was abandoned (no points or pictures submitted in the end) or else I thought it could have contributed quite a lot to our shy little group. :)

Too lazy to arrange the pictures in order, so I'll just explain each of em' accordingly. Have fun being amused for the next few minutes! :D

erm this is flag pole. we came out with a so to say 'pyramid' shape.

so i did the 'pointy' part at the top. lol-ness

after some time of persuasion (aka deceit), we managed to

snap a pic of Billy and Alyssa. this is under Fountain. hehee, creative leh! swts.

Bridge. Very simply, Billy is trying to bunuh diri (think TVB bunuh diri scenes).

"lei bei ngo sei lah, mou zho ju ngo!" "mou ah mou ah mou sei ahhh!"

Lamppost!

the fragrant 'tong sampah' i managed to coax David into posing with it hahh.

im such a manipulator, likeee

say Hi to Niza!

erm i'd rename it as 'the thirsty waterfall' because we cant seem to find one drop of water

the conventional water pump together with emo-fied David Ho.

realise something? me and david took most of the shots...

sorryy, most of the others are not as 'tatau malu' as we are.

right at the last seconds, we took the final one, 'Giant logo'.

It might not be the most joyous and comfortable camp, but the sacrifice we are willing to contribute for the good of our fellow brothers and sisters eliminates any kind of dissatisfaction. In return, we learn to be happy even outside our comfort zones, because we have done something worth it.

I do really hope the OA guys and girls - young in age, young in faith - took home a little bit of something from the Retreat, which will help enhance their spiritual inventory and armour. We hope to have another chance to play a part in their lives and see them transform into good and faithful servants of our Lord Jesus Christ. Whatever negativity they face in school, while at the hostel, when interacting with friends, or anywhere, we hope their faith remain.

always your daddy

2010-06-18T03:44:00.006+08:00

Such an unholy hour to be awake. Hang on, its Friday!

Sunday is the annual Father's Day. I wouldn't be approaching it with big dreams or grand presents, nor do I have pictures or poems. Whatever it is, he will always be my dad.

TO ALL DADDYS,

JUST WANT TO WISH YA'LL

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

expectations come excellence

2010-06-18T01:19:00.006+08:00

I actually told my supervisor that (the blog post title), because the more hope people show to me, the more I expect myself to perform, or I'll feel inferior, I'll feel that I lost a crucial mission. Perhaps this is where all the negativity in me originates. Sounds contradicting and ironic ey? Yeah, that is what makes me, me.

I used to argue back, word by word, whatever mum says. Nowadays I see an improvement in myself not to exchange words, but just let it be. Despise all the arguments at home; creates nothing but stress-related noises. And I know I shouldn't retaliate anyway.

For the first time in my young life, I felt as if I have torn my muscle. Just a typical stretch for the shuttle, but after that I felt a sharp nervy pain at the joint area between my torso and my right thigh. Ah, just another pain I thought. But I couldn't continue walking straight! Rest, rest is the word. But neh, not that bad. I don't feel pain for now at least. I'm someone who will refuse to sit still for long, so I wish it really is just another over-stretching. And my fast-healing recovery system will accomplish its job in no time. Hmm if it IS something serious, you'll find another long post up here. But for now, lets just hope we won't see any of that kind of post ;) Yes dad, I will remember to warm up adequately before games next time.

I was thinking while bathing (it always seems to be during this period), people who endure tough times are most likely the harder worker and the higher earner at the end of the day. The motivation, the cultivation, and eventually, the harvest is so satisfying. Formula? Simple. The only person that can motivate you, is yourself. Working at where I am now, helps me daily to remember that (whatever kind of) rewards come with plentiful of effort and deep-shit hard work. But once you have achieved success, your life will be filled with all the colours you can only dream of. Philosophy, it seems.

parenthesis i'd call

2010-06-14T22:48:00.004+08:00

One does not want to make decisions. The other, is not willing to be cooperative. It's pathetic that even the closest people would do things to you. Yeah to be fair, perhaps partially its my incompetence? But it only goes to show a friendly reminder on the more to expect from the world itself. Its really tough and I'd need all the resilience and support from anywhere anything possible. Hmm :/

The first module after 2 weeks is officially over! Helloooooo if you're one of the VKA people reading here :p I'm really glad though, that there is a sense of relationship and a very positive atmosphere in the company, at least as far as I'm concern. And it definitely is a huge boost for my working experience and motivation. I really appreciate the seniors who have treated us very well, and they are ALL really helpful and friendly. Thank you! I am lucky, because I have seen and been on the other side and it kills the whole purpose of enjoying work. And now, module 2 commences! I'm so tired with work and people I don't feel like going on anymore. Cheerio!

and one week just like that

2010-06-04T18:33:00.004+08:00

TODAY WAS MASSIVE! The real deal has finally been introduced to us - hands-on guidance to our practical, we technically started already! I despise disturbance, but don't be surprised if you see me walking about (dressing decent) with a folder in hand, and asking talking to adults non-stop. Part of my job really. But don't shut me off too, it IS really good stuff! If you are generous enough, an income earner, it is enough for me to offer you the best deal you will ever make. Behold, PowerLinK and its consultant come..... :)

the third day...

2010-06-03T18:39:00.006+08:00

is surprisingly WAY more interesting! Today is mainly about the product itself we are going to recommend to potential investors when Practical starts next week I reckon. The insurance package is known as PowerLinK (PLK) by Allianz! Today's session was listened intently and non-stop curious questions pelted on the poor senior, and he was brilliant enough to answer each and every of them, well done!

As we become more knowledgeable and skilled, we are slowly sensing the increasing excitement of the internship. And also faintly tiptoe-ing behind are the endless uphill challenges we are about to encounter on the road dealing with skeptical potential clients. Ingredients needed? A bundle of hard work, an amazing sense of charisma, true grit and resilience, and nonetheless, some luck. Insurance has unfortunately produce that 'scam' image but if you went go through what I did today, you will notice how much it can change your life - because unfortunate unforeseen circumstances come without signalling to you in advance - especially at the least expected times, and most of us will be stranded scratching our head wondering if money ever rains from the sky.

So after all that... PowerLink anyone? Very simple. I just need your I.C., fill in the insurance form, and a premium of only RM150 per month, and your life is secured perhaps till your very last breath :) Are you as excited as I was in 'class'? Well, contact me for an equally interesting further elaboration!

"Allianz,

insurance solutions from A to Z"

and the wealthy

2010-06-02T19:15:00.003+08:00

Quite spontaneous actually - or you could say it was meant to be - how during shower I actually thought about how spoon-fed i was ("i am" even?) since I was a little kid. Seeing how my parents provide (services mostly imma add) me with most of the privileges not many parents would be bothered doing. Seeing how they even arrange for me to move into tertiary education (I'm embarrassed to admit) says enough how dependent I am. I'd once in a while wonder how I'd survive without them.

Well, its not the first time I attend work in an office but internship for the second day has sprinkled on me that kind of wake-up call. Seeing how much more I need to learn (and being independent), how many times of extra effort I need to put in, to comfortably call myself stable, established, well-to-do, comfortable, and happy.

2 days at VKA Wealth Planners have so far been pretty good. But for now, we're still being treated like VIPs, but no guarantees for that in a week or two's time, when we will be out to venture and practice what "dull" head knowledge we've been instilled thus far. Lazy me would have to really bring myself up to be a dedicated and hard worker - the only route to larger rewards and experience. Quite different personalities my fellow interns have.

There was a 2-hour talk by 2 Fund Managers today. One, a Singaporean from Australia representing MAN Investments speaking on hedge and following the market trend, and of course, their skill to nick the extras from a trend and simultaneously limiting potential losses. The other, a Brazilian-looking American who flew in from the States, apparently from Castlestone speaking on Gold Bullion. Sitting alongside my fellow interns and mostly investors, I could understand majority of what they were talking about surprisingly. The basis is mostly on the knowledge we have obtained for the past 2 years in University. And of course, the 2 dudes were hired to encourage (lure, i'd say) investors (let me tell you, they are those typical bloody-rich aunties you have seen) to consider offshore investments as part of their investments portfolio. And for the second day, its 430pm signing off from work :)

2010-05-25T00:54:00.004+08:00

I think maybe its in my blood that I'm a bloody good guy. The heart is always a very pure one. I have to honestly admit, I had my times when I was exactly one of those whom i call "immature" at this time. Who doesn't? But undeniably, it is really such a blessing that from such a subtle thing like going to Sunday School because I have nothing better to do on a Sunday, and because there is food lying everywhere as long as I sit still or at least mumble out tunes for an hour or so, I am what I am today.

I never thought such a decision leads me to become a Christian as I am now, more specifically, God has unconsciously gradually entered my life in such an amazing faint way. I have come a very long an interesting journey after so many years - whether I was just an innocent kid looking for food and Sunday entertainment, or when I was introduced to a Youth group and reluctantly joining just because my parents pushed me to, or I attend Youth just because there is captainball, or even now when I'm playing a much more responsible role. This God has shaped me - in which I'm very thankful grateful for no simple words like these explain itself - to be what I am today, despite many different situations I have encountered right till today. I would still be one of those people having nothing in life if He hadn't done anything about me.

It came to the point when I realize I don't quite need to "control" my behaviour to 'look' like a Christian, was when I know I have taken my life to a higher level, perhaps a step closer to God. I have my natural fiery character, but honestly no situation quite deters me being what I am. I must have thought many times, if I ever return to old ways, it must take something extraordinary. I love you, God.

Sorry, I have failed.

sk8 your way

2010-05-19T22:43:00.005+08:00

Oooh btw today I was listening to Avril's Sk8er Boi again. It's one of those songs which is made up of a WHOLE story in itself.

"Sorry girl but you missed out,

well tough luck that boy's mine now.

We are more than just good friends,

this is how the story ends.

Too bad that you couldn't see,

see that man that boy could be.

There is more than meets the eye,

I see the soul that is inside."

7am jogging from Rich's to Bukit Gasing. And a hike up the hills. Breakie at Raju's. And maybe a swim after all...

the very very late

2010-05-19T17:20:00.006+08:00

And so, i came back late last night and for the second time this month, didn't bother switching on the comp to do the routine checking and this that (which will end up way into the morning). So I slept after bathing and woke up and decided to do more chores!

Off I went for lunch, went to apply for Touch&Go Rapidpass Pelajar, which offers students 50% off, and a Touch&Go card instead of the boring ones. But apparently they said they are 'very strict' with their policies so I MUST get a certified hardcopy evidence with my student ID card. Meh, don't mind a trip on the train nyway. And then I came home washing the toilet and a few more this and that.

And so, tuning back, while I was on my way for lunch, this dude called me. He apparently is from IBM! Flashing back, the first ever company I applied for internship was IBM, with high hopes of securing a position there, especially since I submitted my resume through Mr. Chai Cheng Sheng ahem :) But they came SO LATE I wouldn't have thought I'd get an opportunity there, and also because time was running out! Not too smart apparently on their part. Although I don't mind going to where I'm set to go, which will commence in June and for 3 months, I felt quite abit of a loss, having missed the opportunity. Its not just the 3 months there, but if only I secure internship there, chances of re-entering after I graduate is several times higher! Its IBM man :( But nevertheless, I trust where God has placed me and I'm going to move on.

I was looking down the apartment yesterday. It was after a heavy downpour and the breeze was ongoing. The beautiful swimming pool glitters from the light reflection, and it was nothing but a perfect time and ambiance for a pleasant night swim. But I didn't have any spare clothes with me, so it remained just a wish. I would believe I'd go for another similar occasion before work comes about. Its way too good to miss. Yesterday I thought of many (probably less achievable) activities to do too.

Outstation trip might be possible if I choose to fork out money, rock climbing sounds impossible cos' its REALLY expensive especially without Eu Bing, Thursday i might just head to Richard's and jog with him till Bukit Gasing, and I will do my sprint hike up the mini mountain. It reminds of the same jog up trailing Gabriel from behind, pure adrenaline, sheer fun. I reminisced cycling moments too, when I used to follow my brother with a junky bicycle from behind when he cycles out to godknowswhere, and he will feel annoyed; probably going to do illegal activities or meet the gf or anything random. And there was once, as if you will be surprised, I skidded on the slippery sandy area, bleeding over, and bro turned back and helped me home. Just one of the few accidents I had with cycling. It remains one of my favourite activities, but I don't get any more of that nowadays. Now, I wish for a bike hahaha.

Speaking of budget control, I have lost my futsal shoes awhile ago, and I'm apparently reluctant to buy a new one. Odd much considering its Han Jung? I don't know, I'm just suddenly not willing to spend a few hundred buying shoes. So last Sun's futsal I was using Jon Lee's shoe (I don't know it just ended up at my house then he left for the States thereafter) and my toes hurt! Stupid Adidas shoes, ZERO comfort, ZERO performance hmph.

I have tons more of chores to do still, some requiring to travel here and there like today's, some seems so much a nuisance I couldn't bother doing but I'll still do it eventually. Other than that, its all relaxing for me, part of gearing up for working in a little less than 2 weeks' time. Owh I am partially going to miss going to University. And the lecturers do work during the breaks, what an effort we students don't appreciate, not to mention know of. Since I don't get to download movies from Uni that easily, I'll be re-watching some. Okay, its getting long. Fullstop.

the pile of love, the piggy bank, and the computer game

2010-05-18T01:27:00.003+08:00

Its the first weekday of my holiday! 2 mere weeks and i'll be on internship for 3 months. My one useful activity for the day makes me reminisce a part of my journey of so many years. And I am a no one without coming through these years. Now i'll be waking up every morning to one pile of love, all against the wall. People I will treasure whether I still talk to em or they have gone afar.

Being at such an old age now, it also made me think of times when I was younger, times when all I know is to get latest branded attire and wears. I have come a long way actually. Because when I was even younger, me and twin were already very much opposite of each other. I used to be the one keeping every single coin in the piggy bank, while my sis, will break the bank. When I was richer and discovered the idea of spending, I grew more alike with her. I have grown from all these years, now realizing there is little need to want everything. Though I still go against that notion at times, I know it is in a way, part of my gearing up to the next level - like a computer game - of difficulty in life.

You are all every single part of my life

i'm a pathetic piece of soul...

2010-05-06T17:23:00.012+08:00

...or is it my car, maybe both :/ Was driving to lunch happily then i realized something weird, the air-conditioner is coughing out slightly warm air. i check my damn temperature meter (it has been a problem pretty recently) and damnit it was near the H(ot) white line! WOAH i immediately turned off the air-con and wound down the window, still crawling along with the awfully stagnated traffic, even managed a desperate prayer. I was (finally) en route to my destination after some time of blind searching. But our dear friend just got hotter, its has reached friken red warning zone and then towards the next border white meter line! I was starting to panic and started having kiddie yet emergency questions like "What will happen if it goes even hotter?!" "Should I carry on? I'm so near already!" "What if it EXPLODES and I become ashes!" "What if the engine (only) blows and I'd cause a whole center stage drama presentation in the middle of a swamp of vehicles, a hundred pairs of eyes?!" "Is it time to die...?" :(

Not sure if it was heaven I have arrived, but I saw a bus stop where I could pull over and just run as far as possible from the car (just kidding). Struggling right at the end, car couldn't start but restarted and I fortunately pulled over, nicely parked. It was really astonishing and terrifying driving a car which has probably gone feverish beyond feverish. So I survived, had a bloated lunch, even drove the car home. My dad came over to help get sorted out, but I have to say the car was probably just competent enough to steer me home without any major tragedy. It WILL be fixed (yet again) tonight! I even requested dad not to tell bro. My privilege is that he has to work at this time and will not know anything! :) But really, they should perhaps regret deciding on having a major revamp of the car instead of forking out more to buy a new one. It is, in my terms, "unsavable" already, and the more (we have probably send it to the mechanic at least 4 times this time around) we fix it, the more problems exist. On a random thought, the brother (on a better mood) and I were talking about choosing in between 3 RM70k - RM80k cars, between the new Mazda2, the new Honda City and the Kia Forte. Yeah, I presume, just empty talks.

As I have complained, this crazy brother gets insane when he goes through an emo spell, in which I have endured since my memory started operating (you can ask my twin, she probably endures this as much as I do). He will launch a typical rampage, butchering me verbally with all kinds of incredulous absurd statements. Well for the car, i literally SHUT UP just because I'm using his now. Wait till I become more successful than him, and have an OWN car of mine. He is just simply disrespectful and still fail to control his emotions at such an age, so disappointed, the supposed role model. I even complained it to dad just now, and he shrewdly reminded me not to get affected too much/long but focus on my priorities now, to study hard.

Enough of ramblings, I completed my second paper yesterday! It was a major one, which I stayed on the night, fervently attempting to cover as much as possible. Having the perfectionist kiasu attitude at this stage isn't all that bad. I had a very brief nap to reset the mind (just like that of your computer), and I woke up feeling like SHIT! The spin in the head was surreal, I was looking frantically for composure and I obtained it after some time. I couldn't afford to look for it too long anyway. After that, the engine ran smoothly, with lubricant aka adrenaline all pumped I headed for exam unwaveringly. Unfortunately, our brilliant punctuality of public transport halted the progress and I was half an hour late but it only added to my determination. A full-blooded 1.5 hours of solid writing and I managed just to complete the tough paper. I started revising on the subject, having found no reason to believe that I could do this paper. There were just so many tough chapters to cover, and I couldn't seem to grip it. But as I slowly recovered, I realized, if I could just ignore how difficult it is going to be and just focus on doing my best to study through it, I can do it. I did.

I headed home with maximum satisfaction, caught the buses right on time early enough to go to Midv for 6.30pm's Ip Man2. I arrived as late as I was for my exam but the movie was simply worth it I have to say. At the end after Ip Man defeated the Twister, quite bloodily, he modestly told the damn European crowd, "My defeat of Twister today, isn't to prove that Chinese martial arts is better than the Western. Everyone has different statuses in life, but we are all equal. All I wish for, is that we (the Westerners and the Chinese) learn to understand and respect each other. That's all, thanks." What a moment, what a glorious glory, so humble, so emotional. And then, the whites one by one stood up, accompanied by applauses of nothing but respect for the legendary Wing Chun grandmaster.

Today has been so relaxing, I probably need to gear up again for the next paper on Monday. And for now, it has been nothing but a smooth sail.

DONNIE YEN as YIP MAN

Hmm, something cool for me and you

2010-05-04T12:42:00.010+08:00

Look, this is what I accidentally found while looking for other stuff but meh, worth reading!

Young adults are at a vulnerable point and take peer pressure very seriously. They worry about their appearance which can cause those that do not have a weight problem to take unnecessary measures. Skipping meals isn’t the answer. In fact, skipping meals is counter productive as it causes the metabolism to slow down and use up FEWER calories. Never, EVER skip meals when you desire to lose weight! This can’t be stressed enough!

One necessary part of the best diet plan is exercise. Sometimes, this can be enough. It helps your body to digest the food that you eat. It builds muscle which naturally burns more calories than other body tissues. Exercise uses energy that would otherwise be converted into fat. If you increase the amount of exercise you get you increase the quantity of calories burned and consequently, the quantity of weight lost.

Consuming water is crucial, particularly when you are exercising. It’s the only food you can eat that’s guaranteed non-fattening.

Rather than consuming three large meals each day, switch to 4-6 smaller meals per day. Rather than eating breakfast cereal and toast for breakfast, just have one or the other then have a piece of fruit a couple of hours later. At lunchtime eat your sandwiches but set aside the fruit or cake for afternoon tea etc. This can keep your body’s metabolism working at peak performance and stop the food from being converted to fat.

Bear in mind that the best teenage diet plan involves eating smaller amounts more frequently, and getting heaps of exercise.

Any changes in your plans?

2010-05-02T20:54:00.002+08:00

anguish, resilience, patience

this, that, and those

2010-04-27T16:18:00.003+08:00

Inadequate patience, overboard language, fairly thin sensitivity, concentration failure, poor financial control, inconsideration, tough luck.

they all kill, don't they?

hmm good to have a new post anyway, refreshing for the poor blog. no pictures tho, sors.

It's the time of the semester again to have this whole trying-to-study moments again, and the Final itself comes, grumbling, movingon, new sem, bum, and the whole cycle continues till I'm too old to remain in University. For now, i'm again at the 'mentally weak' stage trying to garner knowledge competent enough to battle with Final. You know the difficult feeling of having to cramp and overstretch your overstretched brain? My friend terms 'mentally weak' the prettier word for 'stress'. Maybe, not quite there yet. I need to be more serious, to be stressed. :)

But having company seems to help sustain my attention on the notes. And of course, a different environment then that one in my room. Come to think of it, I haven't quite studied much since I arrived at this cafe place.... Hasta luego!

and the big boy

2010-03-31T16:54:00.005+08:00

I just came back from job interview! Too relaxing, too complacent, but nevertheless it went pretty good. But would you receive very little allowances (they call it that instead of 'salary' for interns) + bonus and do something you probably prefer? Maybe, but I think I want the money too heh, I'm broke. That's a start, and lets see what else's to offer from other companies. I hope I'm a wanted man ;) Actually, that's about my whole today. I have been lazy.

And people love pics, so I'm gonna post up another random one. This, I transferred from my old phone memory card yesterday. I was at KLCC then, some years back. Erm yes, randomo.

Damn, it's the end of March. Too fast! But, I'm not quite complaining :) CG tonight?

the prized email, the silly walkabout, and the historic photos

2010-03-26T01:27:00.010+08:00

And nowadays I've been having all the midterms around, and realizing assignment dues are around the corner, the urgent need to apply for internship (it's getting real late!), and somehow, the reminder to start studying for final hmm, so not me.

But anyway! I actually spent an hour or two applying for ONE friken company for internship position this afternoon - and now, the typically over-attentive Han Jung. Might seem like a waste but hey, their reply was so swift, pure efficiency. It is Accenture - the global management consulting company! One of the biggest consulting company and among the most successful companies in the world!

"Dear Han Jung,

Following a search of our candidate records, you have been identified as a suitable candidate for Accenture Consulting Internship Opportunity opportunities.

Your skills and experience would appear to be a possible match and we are keen for you to reapply."

You don't get these often from a world class firm okayy, give me some time to revel. Well, lets see how it goes with interviews. Going to apply more tomorrow!

Well besides that I have really barely done much. Went for dinner with the twin too. We had mushroom soup, steak, and shared a beef nasi lemak yums (owh yes, next time I will remember to snap photos). We were bloated when done, walked to the car, and I thought the weather was simply too captivating to ignore. The firm breeze accompanied by chilly temperature oozes every inch of my skin; haven't endured this feeling for too long. Sorry folks, I live in oven Malaysia okay! Anyway, we decided to walk one round around the makan place! That silly twin so cina she put her bungkus box on top of my car! So fulfilling it was we decided to walk more! By the end of the second round, we thought we were looking silly, so we surrendered and got back into the car and headed home. Love her lar tho she never fails to irk me.

And then later at night I actually went about looking at all my FB photos! They made me laugh my tooth off with all the comments. Aww, what a moment.

For now, I'm pretty awake and willingly continue on my relaxing activities. Hmm, or maybe I should sleep. Ask me another time. I'm offfff!

Okie for entertainment sake, I'm gonna post A LOT of notable pictures here:

getting cramp at semis isn't exactly what you would wish for

arm wrestling moments at cool 'flower-making (casandra tan)' camp

Eugene Phua says, "Not planned, I assure you"

the cute lil' koala, with a compassionate companion

actually I posted this pic up just because I like myself there; they call it narcissism

siao moments with joo hui and matt

uncle ian says I have a knack for posing; I actually think the opposite

and the legendary

keith wielding his magic wand. erm, finger

the twins and birthday.

Too much vanity. I should stop.

the unveiling: Nokia 5530 Xpress Music

2010-03-19T00:46:00.006+08:00

Ahh, I actually camwhored with the brand new phone! Besides slower pace in smsing and other ongoing adaption, the phone has been pretty satisfying. And for those who are looking for a new phone or who wants a phone (even if they don't need a new one or, they don't have the *ahem* money *ahem zo* to), this should enter your shortlist!

And hereby, I proudly present to you, the Nokia 5530 Xpress Music (excuse the abnormal unusual un-hanjung personality):

*the end*

The week of Uni is done! All the Case Studies, Assignments, Quizzes, Mid Terms...they don't stop me, maybe they do exhaust me pretty severely but I'm alive and well. But for now, one more mid term obstacle to encounter with come Saturday morning. Well tonight has been more relaxing. I first had a deserving nap coming home from Uni, had dinner, and went to Old Town White Coffee (YES, AGAIN! and YES, ice blended mocha, AGAIN!) and did some job/company researches and internship applications. And I'm home, spent some time with the phone, and now thinking I should sleep early and do more serious work early tomorrow. Plan - GOOD.

*sleeptalks*

need a good day?

2010-03-17T15:54:00.004+08:00

Today, I'm only going to Uni for one good reason: to attend my Programming mid term test.

Here is what makes today a fine day:

1) It takes approx. 3 hours to-and-fro to travel from home to Uni; my test lasts 1 hour.

2) There are 4 chapters to cover. and the average lecture slides per chapter is 65; 65 * 4, you count.

3) Programming contains a whole lot of 'superfluous' information (at least to me..) - hence why the amount of slides.

4) I'm a Finance student, studying the Programming subject.

5) I took my sweet time getting ready (serves me right) and saw the bus proudly steering past me (from a 60 meters).

6) Walked home and had no option but to drive to Uni. Weather way too hot, pinching.

7) Costs me rm15 to travel like this, when taking the bus requires flashing my monthly pass.

8) I whine too much.

9) Its time to move out from Old Town White Coffee soon, before I'm late for exam, by car.

Hope YOU have a pleasant day fehlahs! :)

*btw, the 5530 has been awesome! I did get the red on black one.

the seasonal syndrome

2010-03-04T02:01:00.009+08:00

As my dearest 5310 Xpress Music continues to decline in every part, you can't entirely blame me for looking around for the next-best-phone. Yeah, maybe I'm pretty stubborn with sticking with Nokia, but here I have a pretty brilliant Xpress Music in 5530 - at an extraordinary price for an outstanding gadget:

the blue on white

and the red on black

And also, I bumped into the beauty of N81, again!

overworked eardrums, Jay Sean's candlelight, and a little bit of tiptoes.

2010-02-28T00:37:00.005+08:00

The boisterous music is blasting my overworked eardrums at a bizarre hour. I miss this triumphant indulging feeling.

Ooh I've been quite semangat with revision recently. Certainly do not want to screw up every sem. And with 0.05 more points for CGPA, I will be second-upper class! But mind you 0.05 is A LOT. Securing IBM for internship would be a pretty positive surge to another following level in life. And other than that, I'm pretty much a busy chap, apart from a lazy boy :/

There are so many things to work on, to improve on, to touch up, to untangle, to entangle, to everything you wish to call it. And I slowly tend to realize sometimes I need to beat up my own skull and tell myself to be still, cool down, ice the head, thwart its blistering pace a lil', and take things slower, tiptoe-by-tiptoe sounds even better, and ooh, listen is the magical word weeee.

So the busy week could be about studies, could be about tests, could be about assignments, also some kind of really unique meet up, and of rare kind of outing too. It promises to be a week of havoc, of mind-bludgeoning, of lethargy, of fatigue, of sports zeal, of laughter, of craze, of volatility, of impulsiveness, of smiles.

Twin, i'd be super busy next week. but lets go makan anyways haa!

You see, I never intended to blog any longer than one line, but now I have not only accomplished it, and of twenty folds, too.

Btw the candlelight remix is pretty good too! :D

2010-02-22T23:17:00.004+08:00

wow, it was mega nostalgic seeing those things. and its extravagantly enormous! miss em, everything, lots.

sprint no more

2010-02-09T14:58:00.010+08:00

i freaked out when my friend washed his dye off, thinking that the dye would really be ultra bright (lala if you'd say). frantically forcing him off the washroom to wash off mine asap before the colour brightens further. but hey, the end result you might wonder, has it even any difference?

i wish you were here, so you could look closer, and see that there is something in all of it.

the stubborn me too, finally applied wax (heard of some time before that it damages the hair quite a bit and from then on i never quite favoured wax) and it does look pretty good! you'll see me on waxed hair more often now i believe. so the whole thing is deemed success. it was a random hangover too, but a really good one.

my body is eating in the amassing exhaustion day by day. seems to handle it pretty well, tho.

till next time!

its sad

to see all that

Edwin McCain : These Are The Moments

2010-01-27T14:50:00.006+08:00

The blog is officially DEAD! Unfortunately, not in the writing spirit. And here's some lovey-dovey song heh. That's bout it... love the lyrics!

Lying here with you,

Listening to the rain.
Smiling just to see,
The smile upon your face.

And these are the moments,
I thank God that I'm alive.
And these are the moments,
I'll remember all my life.
I've found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need.
Everything you are,
Is everything to me.

And these are the moments,
I know heaven must exist.
And these are the moments,
I know all I need is this,
I have all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could ask for more than this time with you.
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I've had's come true.
Right here in this moment,
Is right where that I meant to be.
Ohh here with you, here with me.

And these are the moments,
I thank God that I'm alive.
And these are the moments,
I'll remember all my life.
I've got all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

I could not ask for more than the love you give me,
Cause it's all I've waited for.
And I could not ask for more.

And I could not ask for more.

the rainbow journey

2010-01-10T19:44:00.010+08:00

Dark charcoal-ed grayish clouds dominate the sky, accompanied by fierce forceful storms and dreadful gusts, not forgetting the thunders and lightnings, trouncing the sky and instilling jitters in every soul. Ironically, just everything disperses, as if quicker than a blink of an eye, and the souls are calmed and composed again. What is more essential is the fact that the sky is now filled with birds and bees, soothing light blue surfacing the great sunlight, and thus reflecting a stunning rainbow. This is the moment where all souls of the earth are filled with nothing but awe, mesmerized by this magnificent creation and contrast, nothing but fear, for the Almighty One.

I don't know, the rainbow thingo just spontaneously came to my head so I thought I'd just write it down. How amazing that amid the lengthy relentless storms, God could simply calm it and bring in the Sun and the rainbow, where the sky reflects all of his beauty and love for us. The attacks on churches in recent times is something new, something somewhat shocking, hostile, unbelievable. And I'm thankful that the situation is subsiding and not as serious as how you might perceive it to be. I like what Keith wrote in one of his Facebook statuses (i might as well copypaste it here): "Lord when we suffer help us not to ask for the pain to stop but for the strength to persevere and endure. Help us to turn our cheeks and bless those who curse us and help us to love one another." If you carefully think about it, it is one of the most basic request God ask in us - to love one another.

And also, today feels different. Perhaps alongside a little bit of my typical reflective mood, I stayed behind after my Sunday School worship duty, observing the person on the microphone, the parents, the kids, the rest chit chatting away, and just everything surrounding my presence; I felt strangely emotional. There was this particular boy (his name is Clarence if im not mistaken) I feel as if I'm specifically 'assigned' to observe him. He could be hyper at one moment, quiet another, rebellious after, that sometimes it reminds me of myself. His dad was there, looks pretty young for a father, and i later discovered they are pretty new (around one year). Clarence goes around disturbing people, creating annoyance sometimes, and everything but paying attention to the program, and at one point dad has to drag him to one corner to tell him off nicely. He refused to take the rm1 from dad for offering and when dad did he cried so hard, as if he has just lost a thousand times more than the amount. I with the Garfield notepad somehow managed to overturn his emotions, and like how a stormy sky becomes bright day light in no time, Clarence was cheerful once again and more well-behaved. Throughout the whole period, I had this strong sense of sympathy (or however you would want to describe it) for the father (or mum too). How much you love your child despite him being at his worst attitude (and worse, at such a young age) and the need to be constantly patient. I was thinking, what if Clarence's parents actually screw up their emotions and start spanking him? The look on dad's face told me otherwise, but I wouldn't know it anyway. But just basically, the enormous indescribable feeling i got by observing the whole situation made me ponder a lot about it. I actually prayed silently in my heart that the parents would be patient with him and take good care of him whilst continuing to bring him to SS/church, and that Clarence would behave himself and learn more about God.

Damn, it was too emotional then, and i still don't know why.

p.s i wish i could post up pictures of Clarence or his dad or a rainbow or whatever, unfortunately i don't have a camera. sors.

2010-01-01T16:50:00.006+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love,

Me :)

2009-12-31T21:36:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love,

Me :)

and the closing

2009-12-30T16:15:00.003+08:00

well han jung has his own closing blog post for 2009 too. i haven't really had like a 5-hour session reflecting upon all the dramas of this year. i do say this almost every year, but this time with conscience, i do believe 2009 has been one of the most eventful, dramatic and meaningful year iv ever gone through - black and white. honestly, times are way harder this year in so many aspects, and i think it has been a significant feature God inserted in my life, but theres room for a lazy me to power up and fair better. im 21 now, no longer that little kid trying to loosen the soil at the garden. im old enough to take charge and make a difference, mature enough to play more advanced roles in life, grown up enough to do whats right. and 2010 will clarify all these. as much as good, that bads i wish to apologize and work on, and only a better han jung will be in store in the near future.

meantime, im packing my baggages and heading for 2010. adieu!

be transformed

2009-12-15T20:10:00.008+08:00

it might have seemed too shallow to some. it probably meant too little to others. but sometimes you just need to trust God and go for it. every single thing that happened in camp meant something, and it only helps build up the relationship with your fellow mates, yourself, and of course, GOD the Almighty.

sometimes you look at situations, and loathe being in it. you despise the circumstances, you protest how people do things, you question what behaviour and position people play, you zoom in on everything but yourself! ever wonder why you are in all the so to say 'wrong' places? why not ask yourself what YOU can do during these times. camp has been alot about giving back, so stop enjoying yourself in the receiving circle and think you are all important alright? its time for some sacrifice.

personally tho, it can't be denied there were hitches and difficulties during camp. the group was exceptionally young and the bigger role i play as an adult (yeah, im *that* old nowadays). the bright side was seeing how quieter people emerged from their shells and dishing out a pretty wonderful job of organising, or interacting and adapting better than iv ever thought. it makes me feel better knowing the newcomers enjoy, and the ultra young ones have the time of their life. it doesn't matter if some activities didn't run as smooth, its the thought that counts. i feel bad for those who couldn't make it. because every camp builds up so much on relationships and your perceptions in especially your spiritual life, or even, perceptions about how things and what how who people are.

well there were interesting programs like a night trail, where we get dropped off four by four and spend some pitch-black times getting to know each other (and the Golden Retriever even came and joined in!) and then join back as a whole troop, there was the awesome workshop in which i joined taekwando (with the outstanding Samantha kok!) and never regretted one bit, the unfortunate treasure hunt where the test of patience featured (well, 3 hyper young kids in my group..) and also getting stuck at sudoku roadblock (my 2nd time playing in my life, and i probably spent almost an hour there, BRAVO myself!) and never progressing from there, a pretty amusing and silly talentime with a Mario storyline, sessions which covered the essential Christian life for us Dummies (i have to say, it surprisingly touched alot of things we badly need to work on), Guardian Angel in which we have to secretly do something (buy a drink, hug, give this that whatsoever) for our randomly-picked GA, owh not forgetting one of the most delicious Youth camp meals i ever had. the surroundings of El Sanctuary was simply perfect.

hah, i sound too emo. maybe its the effect of getting up from a great nap. it has been all tiring, but it has also been truly deserving.

*El Sanctuary offers you true beauty (of humans and nature) :D and also golden retrievers, and 'landmines'! one of the best campsites for me indeed.

and i have a blog update while i was away, yay! :)

2009-12-12T15:52:00.004+08:00

FOUR days of youth camp. without me. BOOO :(

We will miss you ♥

thin, too thin.

2009-12-11T23:31:00.009+08:00

So, tomorrow's the annual youth camp. and i need to pack, and im wondering if i should stay up or go to sleep early. im tired tho. its been a pretty non-beneficial day and im more exhausted than a farm cow. i got a miserable formal presentation the following sunday, and brilliant timetable makers scheduled the next day as my first final paper, and christmas eve will therefore end my 2nd semester of year2. so i should be studying now, but i decided to declare today holiday and scrambling will all begin right after camp. hmm, its so quick im struggling to realize im this old already.

maybe its a han jung thing, but im just me..however much i change. but i tend to think tho, it might be a good thing after all.

so this place, as if it was never, will be on a 4-day desertion. maybe more. and she could add on some funny stuff here when shes free if she wants to. but for now, GOOD BYEE!

ooh btw, i just did something i usually hold myself back from doing. not sure how it will impact. but. maybe its a good thing, too.

zo: you belong to pjgh and malaysia.

2009-12-05T13:18:00.004+08:00

pics from zo's camera recently! now im posting in more pics, so you're happy!

fooling around during service?

im no camwhore. trust me.

wielding his...magical finger.

see keith... :D

zo with erm, i dont know. a cute baby.

unfortunately tho, yf later will be the last time we'll be seeing zo for godknowshowlong. do crazy something? what can we do hmmm.. no car even. :( hoping you wont love newz too much, so ya'll come back once in awhile more often! just wanna say, we'll be missing you lots! and of course, your whole family. take care and don't stop disturbing me :) ♥

are you gamed?

2009-12-04T12:48:00.004+08:00

not typical of me to wake up early and do work but hey, its an effort i made. Cant believe tho im still sulking over losing my Management Information System notes. It quite obviously goes to show how much painstaking efforts i have put in. But look! chonghanjung has done it again... :)

my mind is in the perfect 'get to work' frame. too rare.

chapter 1, check.

chapter 2, ferociously ongoing.

gym?

2009-12-02T15:27:00.005+08:00

this place has never flattered me much but i was finally signed up - a 7-day trial that is. following mr. ranjit richard there at 1U's Celeb Fitness yday for a quick yet exhausting hour-long workout. our friend apparently's been there for the past 4 consecutive days, i'm beginning to ponder whether he's out of his mind. its like the paint on the wall. before you put on a new layer, you need to scrape off the old one. here is the case of adding layers and not subtracting any. not brilliant.

the first impression was, everything is so glamour and showy! not necessarily a good thing yo. well that staff who showed me around said i need to eat MORE! and i told him "hey, maybe you should go makan with me when you're done." get it?? i eat more than my size tells! but no, he insists i still need more protein. so fine, since yesterday on, i'm switching on a lil of my consciousness and attention towards my food consumption and increase way more of protein! for headstart, supper was indomie + 7 friken half-cooked eggs, eww :S so lets see if theres really some change in awhile's time. i'll be the first to inform you :) but overall, it does feel good after you workout there, albeit the exhaustion. the muscle stretches and juts out haha, okay too much info :>

sim card still not replaced, assignment due next week isn't showing much promises of progression, today's uni trip's been unfortunately wasteful, and i just realized i have exam come saturday! and its the subject which i've lost 5 valuable chapters of notes. the thought is still haunting, traumatizing me. but hey, 4.0 or 3.6 is still up for grabs :p

hmm i wanted to post a pic up yday but decided against. ppl complain my blog's full of words and lacking in pics. perhaps someone needs to help me on that?

and some rare

2009-12-01T22:15:00.003+08:00

okay fine, im putting it back:p

limited pics of post-interview day.

the fabulous job candidates

the air-conditioning in the lecture hall is tonic for the

astonishing hot weather. cafeworld at the background:)

and the big day

2009-11-26T18:28:00.002+08:00

I've been to interviews in my life but technically speaking, today's 'interview' is my first ever proper and formal job interview - its my uni assignment! but the panicky side of the occasion doesn't lie on what to expect from my interviewer tutor, but whether i could even make it on time! Be reminded people, the tutor stressed to us last week that the most important aspect of an interview to start off with is punctuality. Yes, I blame myself for leaving it till the death. But thank the heavens, because my buddy lend me his friend's car and i managed to print and bind my resume at another place nearby the uni, because the printing place at uni i was suppose to visit was full house with people printing (you proly are starting to entangle in my confusing story and explanation) too!

I rushed so hard to reach the third-floor interview room I was drenched in massive sweat all over my smart all-black and silver-tie formal wear. My friend (who lend me the car) emerged from the interview room, to my relieve (as our interview sessions are back-to-back), as i dashed along the hallway and I could barely switch to the supposed meditative all-prepared mood but who cares anyway because i made it!

Knocked, good morning, sit after being granted permission to, i was initially fumbling with my words, rashly describing myself in response to the first question of the interview, damn the sweat was still flowing like waterfall all over my forehead! But sooner or later i gained composure and began answering with more stability and confidence and the interview went on smoothly till the end. And it was satisfying earning credits for the painstaking effort of making a creative and a helluva stunning (fine, i *might* be exaggerating a lil') resume though its only worth 5 marks.

Post-interview was all relax. The burden on the shoulders lifted. Something of a major worry the night before that everything might go chaos, strolled through successfully, and i'm left a happy man. Fun around uni for several hours and a deserving 8-pax lunch complete a big day. I'm finally back home now, wondering what else could be too difficult to accomplish :)

unfortunately no pics with me, so bare with more readings, for now!

and it goes on

2009-11-14T02:49:00.006+08:00

okay im just playing tetris just for fun, a before bed thingo. the record has been there for some time and i half gave up on erasing it already. but sometimes we need to be reminded of how life's challenges and situations always seem impossible and makes you weary. but if you continue giving yourself that lift, you will discover the way out and a further step beyond where you are.

i beat my record

impressively.

no early start tomorrow. so i get more than enough sleep, dont worryyy.

peace

2009-11-12T21:19:00.004+08:00

there was tad dizziness going to uni today but i eventually attended every class, even had squash! but pukings have made my system slightly paralyzed temporarily. ate 3/4 of cheese-baked spaghetti bolognaise and couldn't last as long as usual during sports. ahh well, curse my own luck for the bad food.

this morning i dreamt of being at the same scene which i was at (during a previous dream some time ago) but the storyline is slightly modified. this time, we were trapped in the mansion and were preparing to faceoff with the enemies, which apparently has advanced in their technology to capture us - by using virtual reality to trap us. so basically im thinking theyr not actually in the mansion but simply, v-r. and if you actually attempt to have any means of escaping or panic, you will be captured. so it was all intensed and we were reminded to stay calm even when they were few hundred of those images everywhere! so in the end i survived... and we lived happily ever after.. :/

kindly nudge me if you notice me insane.

madness

2009-11-11T07:53:00.004+08:00

i puked 2 times. and i gotta feeling more might come...

this the first time it happened out of a sudden, and when im alive and healthy. now i feel sick in the stomach. whatever the food i ate, i'd hav phobia eating it already.

....

for the record, 7 pukes and a massive diarrhea. someone please kill me, fast.

Cristiano Ronaldo

2009-11-09T13:59:00.002+08:00

Yet another defeat. Now i'm really thinking...

you and i miss this dude here.

cat's grace

2009-11-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

not too bad for an awful fall ey?

bettering the better

2009-11-07T14:17:00.007+08:00

on ultra randamo note, ironic how people strive and battle (people, perhaps) so hard to earn a prized something, and when they actually obtain it, the fervor is already gone.

dawn,

is near.

happy 7th!

2009-11-07T08:49:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i've posted :)

we have our share

of the good and bad

sometimes it seems that

the darkness is neverending

but now i can see

the faint edges of

dawn

breaking

I Love You

square one is (equally) dear

2009-11-07T01:18:00.004+08:00

4.44am was the time i vividly recall sleeping. and 8.54am was then the time i reluctantly got up and fetch my bro to work. awkward? you know why? #1 he was late because he slept much later than usual; #2 he slept late because he went to fetch me at PUTRAJAYA SENTRAL at friken 1.30am. Now everything makes more sense. And while my brain was still busy dreaming about a particular someone (not really but just to make it sound nicer, sorryy), the body was already caught in a shock. After dropping bro at his office, i drove on and noticed the TOLL! then i logically remember not having a cent with me. DIE. the unreliable phone (or rather, sim card) does its antique again so i was stagnated several meters before the toll gate, wondering what to do to escape embarrassment when a friendly 'ronda' truck crew pulled over and politely asked me to head over to the counter and they will assign me a letter to pay up the toll fee within one week. 2 absurd situations within 10 hours is what makes your life interesting!

btw, i just realized how massive homework is from this week's uni. notes, case studies, analysis of vids etc, and my badmintonsquash if you count em. and its week 2? yeah, out of 8. no surprise.

blessed, loved. the two words noteworthy today.

happy 8 months, love :)

perception is a strong word

2009-11-06T02:29:00.004+08:00

5th november 2009.

-waking up not at the best of mentality
-first tutorial paired with a pretty battered impromptu speech but still managed 8/10
-poker
-second tut and last class for the week
-3 hrs with my new love, squash. pretty soothing. day peaking up
-dinner and more hang-abouts n heehaas here there everywhere
-pretty phone call
-reaching bus central at 1155
-discovers last bus back home isnt at midnight but 1130. ermmm, what noww
-low in batt, barely any credit left, not a single public transport available, weary
-at 130, i was driving smoothly back home
-now im finally clean, had my 2nd dinner, and will hang ard for notsurehowlong
-im exhausted. a long day (week)

life can be so exotic and wonderful. that sums my today.

remember, exchanging is also one of the features, a potent one.

startle sparkle

2009-10-27T11:54:00.008+08:00

the acme aka pinnacle moment of Genting wasn't the delayed date of visit, not the discounted allpark entry fare, not the stubborn rain, not the spaceshot cockscrew gokart cyclone, neither is it the heehee haahaas, nor the delayed time of returning, BUT the (repetitive) bumpercar rides accompanied by constant organ-bursting bangs (absurd as it seems) in the evening. my first time in one; a giant, long-legged 'kid' participating in a 'youthful' event does make it all the more fulfilling. And i got to know this hyper boy, whose parents went gambling (tsktsk) and he voluntarily stationed himself there the entire night i presume; and also this stylish little girl, whom later i discovered was accompanied by her young Portugese daddy Tony. So this girl is Chinese-mixed, called Mickey Anthony and does ice-skating! Interesting huh. The two of em (Mickey + the parents-gambling-kid) somehow spiced up my trip, cant phatom why so ey.

Meh nyways funfun aside, sem starts and 2 subjects ain't gonna entertain me for the rest of this year, but i better take advantage of it and who knows, get both of em A+ and a 4-flat GPA awaits... What a joke! :D a realistic one.

In meeting room once again, and gonn attempt to start with my Chapter 1 notes already. Early bird catches the worm...sense the fervor? It always happens, for the first few weeks :p ciao

interesting povs

2009-10-23T00:07:00.003+08:00

1) If you think women are nuisances, i think (as pathetic as i am one myself) men and their antiques are simply unbearable. nuf said.

2) Pick one person whom you think is your true friend. Are real friends meant to (almost) never disappoint/annoy/anger you one bit? If your answer is yes, come tell me!

backtrack

2009-10-22T12:51:00.002+08:00

just scroll a lil down and you see the "3". it was a 3.0/10.0 on the opening day of my sem break; not too pleasant huh. okay more like "yes you pulled through the final and its sem break, SO WHAT (there are 2 underlying undiscolosed meanings, complicated as it is)?"

Come to think of it, i really didn't achieve a single beneficial quest, unless you count sleeping. but hey, aren't hols meant to be like that?? my mind never fails to tell me otherwise - which is a good thing.

hols are LEAVING! and it also reminds me of checking my final results :S and, i still haven't done anything.

feb fest

2009-10-17T10:12:00.004+08:00

sometimes when you wanna try out something, or take up a challenge from people or yourself, you tend to have this mindset that you're somehow going to achieve it. NOT! i played friken tetris from 1:30 till 5:00 and i still couldn't beat my time. that is hella shameful and pathetic. its alright, im up and goin now already. but that was simply a killer ):

owh btw i remembered what i wanted to say already (ref prev post). i cut my hair but it was not up to my standards. but the bright side is that everyone seems to like it. does that not confuse any human mind? owh btw did i tell you, i never liked any of my fresh haircuts :/ no pics up thanks.

ooh. note title.

stoinko

2009-10-15T13:34:00.013+08:00

my dreams been rambling these few days, the sleep aint exactly pleasant i'd say. its just alot of everything and it keeps on going until i wake up the next morning. owh the best part is, its as if theres some electronic device plugged onto my brain with a sole mission of brainwashing my memories and perceptions into negatives. urgh, lets move on...

the other day when i was tryingtobesosmart jogging as if i do that daily has taken its toll and i got tired legs now which yearn for massages! heh, thats trivial. but my point here is i wrote this down because i forgotten that one thing i was supposed to write here. speaks alot about my short-term memory huh. and alright the one thing i do remember is, from yesterday's cg games, i have one analysis and one conclusion: girls ARE brighter, faster and way brilliant when it comes to TABOO. BUT, they still cant guess DEUCE! :D (quote andie: you girls don't play sports!) hee.

btw A Walk To Remember, yes i know its 7 years ago and i watched it the first time, but hey, as much as its lovey dovey, theres so much meaning in it, sheer touching. please go watch it AHEM.

notice the title. doesn't quite make sense. thats what my brain is now.

immaculate

2009-10-13T19:58:00.004+08:00

my 2 weeks aka 14 days of holiday is already ticking its way to the end ferociously! but hey, my mood sped up a lil today forGodknowshowlong from the lying downs and rotting in the room with this poor lil electronic companion. you might think its some typical dull thriller but hey, A Perfect Getaway definitely THRILLED me! helluva shocker! ooh, whats more, i went for a gruesome jog! now i feel more, normal. the adrenaline satisfies.

genting might be an idea. other than that, its pretty blank atm, dont mind that actually, dont know. and its the hyped-up captainball mini yf tourney this sat! some are pretty engrossed and intensed, others forgot, some indifferent. but its down the wire! GREEN to WIN! :) nothing impossible with chonghanjung (bragger side of me)!

oooh yes, and happy 13th, love ♥

3

2009-10-09T17:34:00.003+08:00

now that sem break beckons, and i could do ANYTHING i want, EVERYTHING i longed to do which i never really had time or bothered to.... and then what?

2009-09-23T20:16:00.001+08:00

intensive study week hasn't come easy, but im getting more and more concentrated on it. stats, as so far the best in terms of coursework, is one of the toughest to polish up for final, 10 freakin' chapters with endless work and exercises. i better be braced for some real perseverance.

owh, i checked my digital media (comp) coursework, and for some strange reasons i got an A :/ kinda weird really, but i don't mind! (; and it definitely gives me more incentive to work harder.

the amazing episode

2009-09-23T12:20:00.004+08:00

this mounts a challenge, yeah. but when this other strikes, you have totally no idea what more you can do. you don't run from it, you don't hide either, neither can you. nothing but inevitable. you feel like a giant attempting to cross an endless borderless minefield, a limbless child trying to outrace the others in a swimming contest, a bird trying to convince humans that you can teach english, whatever. you try to arm yourself with shield, but there is none. ammos, none either. you try to think of the outcome, but it is too bitter to foretell. you try to look for the turning point, but it only points to the dreadful direction.

you look at the tear and wounds, the tears shed, the voices amplified, the energy sapped, the painful heart. you can't do anything about it. sometimes you even feel like cursing, killing. but that is plain foolish and nonsensical. you wish you live another 2 decades, when the flowers might actually bloom once again, and wonder what might happen then, and looking back and seeing, wow, what a difficult story you have seen.

and the special day for the special someone

2009-09-22T09:17:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GF!

you are forever special in my heart

the rest shall be undisclosed :p

messy massacre

2009-09-18T19:54:00.009+08:00

and now you think your stats coursework is brilliant? besides checking out mine, i apathetically browsed through the rest of the scorelist, wondering how the others did. believe the insanity, 49 of 50 for coursework! ): makes me feel insignificant, a minor, mere trifle.

not so much time for sulking though. i'm already amid battlefield, completing this, patching up that, catching up those. everything is coming in bulks and thrown straight at your face: "take it or leave it, bub; owh come to think of it, take it, you have no other choice."

pretty fast huh? final re-emerges yet again, always been a challenge for me, not only to maintain or improve the academical tempo, but attempt to make a breakthrough from my everlasting resistance level, if you perceive my thoughts. Everlasting, because it doesn't ever seem like feasible. But my new-found gusto makes it less invulnerable. Not some kind of false belief, i hope.

wishing...by a...sun.

owh, today is sept 18, tmr is sept 19!
...

multieverything

2009-09-11T01:50:00.005+08:00

a like sometimes we think we can't, but when we are actually put into the challenge, we could miraculously achieve it somehow. tad example is how i could still sprint around playing tennis despite the aftermath of the typical ankle sprain. yeah, thats just a minor instance. try it on something with higher stake in your life and youl get me.

tennis, ping pong, volleyball, futsal, handball, badminton, captainball. at yumcha we talked about having too many sports at one go. but honestly, it only adds to the already-passion. owh what more? with a bike and a decent running shoes, i could add two more into the tally. cycling and hiking/marathon! i'll start with october's 10km with gabs, with crossed fingers.

ooh. i also like that my investment exam subjective answers got posted out on the lecturer's door! full marks for subjective is truly not what i ever set my benchmark at. but it only goes to show nothing is impossible. surely, i know i wouldn't have done it without You and you. it's sheer magic. a moment no one could comprehend.

you bring me back to life

2009-09-08T13:50:00.002+08:00

i feel so deeply for you. i feel so hurt seeing you like that. i feel i did not do enough. i also feel, i have an important role to play.

be strong now, pick yourself up, confront your challenge with a brave heart, you know you are doing your part, trust me the people see and know it. the rest, you need to trust and let God take control. sometimes, the road seems to lead you to doom. little do you know, its for a better cause eventually.

im around for you. the people are right there for you. He, is always here for you.

the song. the lyrics. is for you.

remember now, to take care. and let time run its course.

love you.
hugshugs

tonic monday

2009-09-07T18:22:00.008+08:00

it was just a day or two ago the brilliant reunion plan of the handball team was set up, and it in fact did happen this morning. not that the entire team was here, but its good to see familiar faces once again, and also the other team of our former juniors. more so, the rekindling of the passion for the sport and teamplay, the sport which iv cherished alot of significant memories with. of course though, not leaving with pains on knee, wrists, here there everywhere. we are still by far smooth flowing and brilliant, and what i continuously reckon is the best handball team the school has conceived. bravo

other than that, monday today has been about spending some time, together; having what i believe is a crucial nap in this baked afternoon; more Survivor; and do you believe this, full concentration on assignment till it completes. i have achieved some kinda milestone already today. perhaps it just feels good today.

6 months, a year, 14 months, 25 months, and 50 months. you name it (:
a candy if you could guess right all the counts.

its SUNDAY

2009-09-06T15:47:00.006+08:00

(specially dedicated to twin.)

hit song: Rachael Lampa - Always Be My Home.
(btw its the background song for 50th anniversary video!)

Your heart will always be my home,
No matter where I go,
No matter what may come.

You'll be my shelter in the storm,
a harbor safe and sound,
where only true forgiveness can be found.
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS
And I can't live without Your love.
Cause Your eyes have seen beyond,
the things I'm guilty of.
I won't be afraid to turn back down the road.
Cause Your heart will always be my home.

And when, I've cried a thousand tears,
You've always wiped them dry.
And watched me as I spread my wings and fly
to a place, where holiness begins,
and mercy never ends.
And I will find my freedom once again,
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS

Your hands are always open,
to catch me when I fall,
I feel a million miles away,
but that's no distance, at all...

But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

CHORUS

Cause Your heart will always be my home.

the count

2009-09-02T13:59:00.004+08:00

just when you think you're darn good. GOD tells you you're not, so walking humbly and continue working hard. A handy reminder for me chong han jung, and maybe YOU too.

i recently have been realizing how forgetful i am, as if i wasn't. perhaps i should start the daily counts for what i forget and capitalise on the statistics and analysis knowledge i have been learning. owh and did i not mention, occasional waking up lates esp on crucial days are identical killers. shouldv been adamant bout taking up psychology previously and psycho myself... yeah it doesn't make sense.. my point is, it does look mild now, but theres somehow a way to overcome these, right? psychos, come calling.

(A+) + (B-) = D
):

why not A+ or A?

Gabrielle | Sunshine

2009-08-29T19:03:00.002+08:00

Rekindled love for this song.

Made a wish
I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid
To live life
And fulfill my fantasies
I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came you were like

Chorus:
Sunshine through my window
Thats what you are, my shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for new heights
You inspired me to try
Felt the magic inside
And felt that I could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
Cause when you came you were like

(chorus)

You are the calm, when I am the storm
You are the breeze, that carries me on
When I set adrift, you anchor me
You're there for me

(chorus x5)

(:

turnaround

2009-08-28T20:06:00.002+08:00

you bet the night was good, tho.

anyway, this morning was a pleasant one too. investment mid term paper back, and i was probably 3/4 conscious coz i was real tired from lack of sleep, so i just searched my paper and got it and i was like, "owh okay, 78..". lagging a lil, my mind soon came to senses and i was going "wow not too bad..". Plus and additional 7 marks, which makes it 85/100! hoho. yeah, dont mind that 15 marks.

like it always does

2009-08-27T19:20:00.008+08:00

if you count unexpected one or two hours of sleep a real sleep, then i did that. the body was battered after i finally completed my assignment (which i dont even remember what time i did...maybe lauren could tell me), it automatically carried me into my room and switched off! yeah, the memory of having an exam in a few hours' time was apparently vanished alongside. when i actually got up, my life was temporarily turned frenzy. it was a literal fracas and havoc all over my skin and for once in some time, i felt heavy carrying my 60kg, and was pretty much anxious about not making it.

somewhat only God can tell. i arrived late enough yet good enough to be allowed in the exam hall. and completed the exam paper as if i was given an extra hour. it was a paper people could finish in 20 mins and without having too much problems answering it.

just got a real power nap, tho i doubt its enough.. it never is. assignments, 3 more. did you even realize most times i post something, assignment dues will always be there? yeah, its that unbelievable over here. and what more, the student loan thingo wont be coming in for another month. now im wondering whether its a good thing or otherwise. good, because inevitably i'd be spending money yet the loan untouched..so i have more money! otherwise, because i'd have to find my way to get that money for one month of survival. starting with tonight, i'd be going out, and with 10 bucks in my wallet. where begging comes in :/

theres nothing good about today really. nasty, in fact.
sigh.

food your stomach

2009-08-25T01:49:00.000+08:00

monday's kinda officially my free weekday already. morning class is presentation, as if i'm gonna sacrifice my sleep for amusing skits; afternoon is a crap computer class where our aunty lecturer talks almost her own alien language, probably teaching herself i reckon.

so iv been waiting waiting, for my late waking up, 930 and an 'eventful' half hour in bed (who else would know this?) before getting up. did some onlining and work till afternoon. owh, my brilliant sem continues with 2 mid terms and 1 assignment submission deadline for week10 this week! then my empty house convinced me i should get my butt moving and grab some food. that was me caleb and jon wee. then we were off to mont kiara's haagen dazs + rich ivy jonlee.

owhh having rm40 for mass haagen dazs sounds good, but stuffing 14 scoops of haagen and a kfc snackplate before that upsets no one but your stomach (: rich was the biggest consumer at 22 scoops (yeah right 30). ooh, as if not enough, i was called for yumcha with kelvinhun nimalan chinloong thereafter (all back from some places in the world)..dilemma of course considering the amount of food hanging about in my stomach and lack of sleep has been taking its toll on me (right...more like laziness), but i decided i should just go meet em after some long months. wasn't too bad a decision for once, had some good time talking pure rubbish (and a lil serious ones meh) like how secondary school times always were :p and owh, thursday be my second mid term paper for the week..and they so-called it drink to celebrate. :/ owh yeah, the fun and fun continues...

owh, after haagen it was supposed to be yumcha with the adults, but just coz gabs couldn't make it i decided it be with my secondary school friends eventually. both be good so i dont regret either one. makan makan and talk talk with gabs...cant waittt. we'd start with vball tmr.

i just realized iv been using alot of owhhs :/

owh, todays been a real crazy talkative nonsensical me. a rare sight.
(just take into account the last time i actually posted something long and sensible here)

make me smile (:

literal

2009-08-19T22:34:00.004+08:00

3 weeks without a post is pure insanity!
can't believe it if i actually still find people coming over (minus that twin)
so, im stopping the rot, barely... because its,

THE END!
:)

and the not so pleasant

2009-08-01T02:43:00.002+08:00

It starts with a sprained wrist from sports,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the boredom,
then the reply and further textings,
then the malfunctioned phone,
then the malfunctioned phone, again,
then the malfunctioned phone, AGAIN,
then the okay-ed phone,
then the call,
then the notinbed tone/voice,
then the annoying background noises,
then the not-so-clear and talk louder,
then the dead phone,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the waiting for the bus home,
then the reached home after 3 waiting hours.

depression.
):
(:

the almost brand new

2009-07-30T00:37:00.006+08:00

AAAHHHHH.........

I had this wild idea to take over my aunty's car; buy, that is.
And i tell you, it was helluva brilliant thought,
an outstanding opportunity.
You see, she's been consistently changing her cars every 3 years.
So her Vios is almost 3 already and i almost successfully coaxed her
into selling it to me, until...
she decided a Vios should last a 5!

nice try.
):

exquisite?

2009-07-29T00:28:00.004+08:00

damn, does it always have to feature alongside?

clogging

2009-07-28T01:59:00.008+08:00

wow. i should just die off better before i go insane.

this could explain: Week7 - 3 mid term tests today, wednesday and thurs; 2 assignment submissions; 2 quizzes! i'll give whichever lecturer a good sounding if he/she dares nag me for not doing my tuts (;

owh, and that white 80+ professor lecturer pretty much love talking to me (or perhaps whichever hyper dude). darn, we met at the guy's loo today :S and he with his cowboy mustache and cunning smile was going "surprise, surprise". gah i better speak especially louder and clearer before he goes "huh?" :p

owh, at least at least...the streamyx connection just recovered from its 3-4 week-old coma! absolute thrillllllllllllll!

come find me at the end of the week to check whether im still alive :/ *drops dead*

today's special

2009-07-13T15:27:00.010+08:00

13th JULY!

need i say more. :)

we fall down, we lay our crowns

2009-07-08T15:23:00.010+08:00

Firstly, i present to you...

THE WORLD'S OLDEST BIBLE RE-UNITED AND DIGITISED!

As the news said, this early work, aka Codex Sinaiticus comprises over 400 large leaves of prepared animal skin. It tells on the development of early Christianity and firsthand experience of how the text of the Bible was transmitted from generation to generation! And now, the evidence is ever so strong!
Praise be to GOD!

*

You cruise along the highway heading to uni and there comes some dude emerging in your back mirror, roaring his way on his imaginary circuit with his fantasy race car, attempting to squeeze past mobs of cars hanging around in a reasonably slow pace, provoking slow coaches by inching just some inches away from their behinds. Unfortunately and ridiculously though, at the end of the day he probably managed a car or two in front of me; and i reckon, already spent a buck more for petrol. What an amusing day to begin with :D

Motorcycles too, i think are real nuisance and of vulnerability on the road. If i, in my dreams tonight become the Government, i'd implement a privileged lane for them, and for their lives.

*

It could be work, it could be activities, it could be thoughts, it could be happenings, it could well too be simply random-os. You hang on to your own to start with, then use some logic and brilliant conscience to decide what or how.
actually i'm not even sure what i'm talking about

cramping inside out

2009-07-06T12:12:00.009+08:00

okay i'm gonna keep it all concrete and direct, satisfied? :)

nope, i haven't been sleeping enough these days, and the msn pm tells of exhaustion, missing the bed, and pillow back home and the badly desire for some good hours of sleep to save myself from whatever unforeseen circumstances.

i'm in my favourite meeting room in uni - equipped with solid wireless connection, cool air-conditioned breeze, comfy little couch (big enough for me and you), the all-important silence and minimal presence of living creatures, and the ever-so-efficient intranet CyberTracker where i dl almost anything at jaw-dropping dl pace (yes, 8gb in 4 hrs). the next class being at 2pm, and i'm left contemplating on lying dead on the couch or doing some work which i haven't been keeping up with due to the cramping of activities. in fact, that already foretells how my sleeping time would further be limited. the assignments have re-emerged as if i'm so surprised, which means meetings and staying-backs and reaching home finding yourself half dead and not wishing to do anything else but collapse to the dreams.

owh on a happier note, birthday and its surrounding days been pretty much happy-fying. just a sincere thank you to everyone present in my life, in my heart. okay, i'm avoiding more details here, like usual, its been good. and owh, speaking of birthday, i've proabably spent time with everyone but the soul who shares the same birthday and birthhour with me. thank you very much, but i still don't see you and don't see our so to say "birthday dinner" happening, DEAR TWIN.

the brain's been functioning competent enough for me to have thoughts this long. my last thought now being braces! yeah, my fluctuant mind came home telling me i should be getting one, anyway! that lil quest of mine was not entirely buried after all. yeah, not guaranteed yet though, but anyhow that means more pain, less food, less smiles, less money, but a rewarding outcome, i hope :) consult me on this one.

i think i'm off to...s.l.e.e.p (:

*

alright for the fun of everyone. i took a pic! :/

++
OWH did i mention to you too. Did rock-concert jumping for 4 hours last Sat for a Digi commercial (courtesy of Lala) at Bukit Jalil stadium which i tell you was outright exhaustion, and a hard-earned RM100. So do spot the gorgeous green-shirted guy on your tv screen k? :p

personification

2009-06-30T15:20:00.003+08:00

just a short one.

dealing with stocks is a pretty fun thingo.
and, the frown of a price slump.
also, the glee of a price swell.
finance students owh yea.
interesting much!

i'm getting way too old ):